Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In numerous regions around the world, rural people are translocating to cities so the population of the villages is declining. In my opinion, this is a negative development because this act of transferring will result in many things including pollution, population increase, unavailability of resources in cities for there own citizens and extreme competition in employments .

First of all, there will be a tremendous increase in pollution. The shifting of localities from rural areas will increase the use of plastic and other products that are toxic for the environment and will directly influence the health of the inhabitants. Other effects of increasing pollution will be smog, pure water contamination, a decrease in soil quality and the noise which will have an effect on the nervous system of humans.

Secondly, the cities population will start to grow as the incoming people will be permanently established in the cities. This will put burden on the resources and there will be deficiency of food products in the supermarkets. Consequently, pressure on farmers will increase as there will be a need of food products. This will allow them to clear forests and utilize the land for growing crops and as a result wildlife which is vital for life of humans and our ecosystem will be eradicated forever.

Additionally, there will be a growth in competition for job opportunities as growing population will result in few jobs and people will end in stress and joblessness. this will contribute to suicide attempts and youth the backbone of a nation will vanish.

So, the consequenses of rural people moving to cities are numerous and this is a negative development in my perspective due to the reasons discussed above.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider rural-to-urban migration negative and give several relevant reasons, including pollution, pressure on food resources, and competition for jobs. These points address the question and show a sound understanding of the task. The pollution paragraph includes several consequences, while the discussion of food shortages and forest clearance begins to explain a wider chain of effects. However, some claims are asserted rather than fully supported—for example, that migration will cause food deficiencies and that young people will “vanish.” The employment point is also less developed than the pollution discussion. To strengthen the response, explain the links between migration and each outcome more carefully and add a specific example or qualification.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, three body paragraphs present reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “Additionally” make the progression easy to follow. Within paragraphs, you also use cause-and-effect links, including “Consequently” and “as a result.” This gives the response a coherent foundation. At times, however, the linking is somewhat mechanical, and some chains of ideas move quickly from one consequence to another without enough explanation. The final employment paragraph, for instance, jumps from fewer jobs to stress, suicide attempts, and the loss of youth. Develop these links in smaller steps and use clearer referencing to make the relationships between ideas more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “pollution,” “contamination,” “resources,” “competition,” and “ecosystem.” There are also attempts at less common or formal expressions, such as “tremendous increase” and “permanently established,” though some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “translocating” is not a natural way to describe people moving, and “competition in employments” does not fit the intended meaning. Spelling errors such as “consequenses” and “there” for “their” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but more precise collocations and careful proofreading would improve control. Prefer natural phrases such as “migrating to cities” and “competition for jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “as,” and “which,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences awkward. For example, “the cities population” needs a possessive form, while “there will be few jobs” would be clearer than “will result in few jobs” in the sentence about competition. The sentence beginning “this will contribute” also needs a capital letter, and “youth the backbone of a nation” lacks the punctuation or structure needed to connect the phrase clearly. Work on possessives, articles, sentence boundaries, and clause construction, then check each sentence for a complete and clearly connected structure.

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