Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nation around the earth , villagers are moving to urban area as a result rural population is declined .Although this issue offers several notable positive aspect as well as it present some negative enhancement . This essay will explain both sides before reaching a well reasoned conclusion .

On the one hand , migrate in urban area showes demograpic scar in rural area . One major reason is that , city offers a huge number of opportunity to individuals . This is because , urban area provide a large number of work place to unemployed . As a result employment rate will increase in a country . Therefore it asists to contribute our economy's . For example , a vast number of industries located in city area where a huge number of individuals work . Another crucial reason is that , city area is full of facilated , reliable and convinent . This happens due to the fact that , everythig is near at hand from hosital to educational instritute and so on . As a consequence , individuals get proper medication , students can pursue their higher dgree . Consequently it helps to thrive our country .

On the other hand , moving in city area has some negative devlopment . One vital factor is that , it lack labour in rural area . This is because , individuals from rural area rely on labour for farming . As a result , people are suffering and cultivation may stop . Subsequently , it can empact on our food produceing and manufacture . Therefore , there are may scar in food market . In other word most of the raw meterials for manufectur are produce in village .

In conclusion , I firmly hold the view that a balance approcah is the most reasonable based on reason discussed above .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of rural-to-urban migration and give relevant reasons: city employment and access to services are presented as benefits, while reduced farm labour and possible effects on food production are drawbacks. However, the task asks whether this is positive or negative, and your conclusion says only that “a balance approach is the most reasonable”; it does not clearly state which overall view you support. Several points are also asserted rather than explained—for example, the link between city jobs and “our economy” is not developed, and the food-supply consequences need clearer explanation or an example. Make your position explicit in the introduction and conclusion, then extend each main reason with a specific consequence or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast, and the ideas generally remain grouped by topic. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical: repeated links such as “As a result,” “Therefore,” and “Consequently” make the reasoning feel like a sequence of formulaic steps. Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from rural labour shortages to manufacturing materials in the final lines of the second body paragraph. Improve cohesion by explaining the relationship between each claim and its consequence, varying linking methods, and using clearer references to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “employment rate,” “higher degree,” “cultivation,” and “raw materials,” and the reader can usually identify the intended meaning. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms or collocations make the vocabulary noticeably unreliable: examples include “demograpic scar,” “facilated,” “conv inent,” “food produceing,” and “raw meterials.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “city area is full of” and “contribute our economy's.” These issues sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your point. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, such as “access to facilities,” “contribute to the economy,” and “agricultural production,” before trying to use more ambitious expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “This is because” and “As a result,” and most of the main ideas remain understandable. However, control is inconsistent, especially in sentence construction, verb forms, articles, and agreement. For example, “rural population is declined” has an incorrect verb form, while “city offers a huge number of opportunity” has problems with the article, number, and plural form. The opening sentence also joins clauses awkwardly, and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. These recurring errors can make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and appropriate articles.

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