Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most of the people are shifted from countryside to urban areas in several countries overall the world, Then the people count was step back in villagesides. It created both positive and negative but a slight more positive features.

On one hand, present days people are focus on earning money significantly with out doing hard work. So many people are searching jobs in urban areas which are easilly avaliable and travell to cities. For an example, a farmer works everyday for family but not get sufficient amount at the end of the day so, they are shifted to towns with family to get more income sarting with a small bussiness.

On other hands parents are looking there childerns in high position by joining in best schools and colleges. Which are near by cities and towns and some people want to experiance urban life so they are shifted. For an instance, a bussines man want to provide well education to there childerns to see in good position. Schools with several facilities are avalible in cities and towns then parents moved to townsui fromtheir home town.

finally, people in some villagers are moving to other countries for new culture even they are lossing some emotions with relationships. A good example is student went to abroad to complete higher studies by living entire family. After some years he will travell to cities with entire family who is rotuine to urban culture.

In conclusion, Even though lossing some emotions and values people are willing to travell urban areas to servey thier life in profission manner with out doing hard work, due to this population in rural was decreased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the movement of people from rural to urban areas and provides a clear position that it is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention economic reasons and education, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The examples provided, such as the farmer or the businessman, are relevant but are not fully explained to illustrate the broader societal impact. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea that directly supports your thesis, rather than listing several points that remain underdeveloped. The conclusion summarizes your view, but the connection between the loss of emotions and the desire for a professional life could be more clearly articulated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'On other hands' is used incorrectly, and the transition 'finally' is used to introduce a point that seems disconnected from the previous arguments about education and employment. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the subject 'he' is introduced without a clear antecedent. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the one before it. The progression of ideas is present but occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and abrupt transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'villagesides', 'travell to cities', and 'servey thier life'. Some words are used incorrectly, such as 'profission manner' instead of 'professional manner'. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'urban areas' and 'rural', the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms. Using more precise synonyms for common words will help demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary and improve the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Most of the people are shifted'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and misused commas. For instance, 'For an example, a farmer works everyday for family but not get sufficient amount' contains multiple errors in a single sentence. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading your work for these common errors will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

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