Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The rural population in many countries is moving to cities, so the population there is decreasing rapidly. I am of the opinion that this is harmful towards the development of the country.

Firstly, countrysides are a backbone to our country. Almost of all the agricultural produce is grown in countrysides. Fresh fruits and vegetables are largely produced in the country lands by hard working farmers. The produce is much more nutritious grown in countrysides as opposed to city grown or lab grown fruits or vegetables. For example Pakistani mangoes are widely renowned for being very juicy and delish because they grow in countryside farms by very hardworking farmers. The mangoes are completely unadulterated by anything like city smoke, and they grow in a pure environment. That is why the fruits of Pakistan are internationally famous for being extremely appetizing.

Countrysides are home to agricultural animals as well. The cities are so jam packed that there is no space to cultivate the livestock. They are kept in countrysides far away from cities where they roam freely and get healthy. This provides us with healthy and nutritious animal products like eggs, cheese, meat etc. The animals are very well kept by people there so that they can grow healthy and able. For example in Japan, Wagyu cows are kept in very well conditions in rural areas. That's how the meat of those cows reach insane fat marbling. The countryside people keep the Wagyu cows healthy and well maintained which in return gives superior meat.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that countrysides should be more facilitated by the government so that the population stays there as they the the cornerstone of our society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that rural-to-urban migration is a negative development. The ideas are relevant, focusing on agriculture and livestock as the primary benefits of rural areas. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; both body paragraphs focus on the same core argument (food production). To achieve a higher band, you should broaden your scope to include other aspects, such as the social impact on rural communities or the environmental consequences of urban overcrowding. The conclusion is brief but restates your position effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'For example' is used twice in a similar way). The transition between ideas could be smoother; for instance, the jump from agricultural produce to livestock is abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'unadulterated', 'cornerstone', and 'marbling'. However, there are instances of informal or imprecise word choices, such as 'delish', 'insane', and 'jam packed', which are not suitable for an academic essay. Additionally, there are some minor collocation issues, such as 'kept in very well conditions' (should be 'kept in very good conditions'). Expanding your range to include more academic collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Almost of all the agricultural produce' (should be 'Almost all agricultural produce') and 'they the the cornerstone' (repetition error). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You show an attempt at complex structures, but accuracy remains inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and eliminating repetitive word errors will improve your control over grammar.

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