Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, mostly people moving in the cities and left the rural areas and the population of the countryside is decreasing. I think this is a negative negative development because it increase the population in the cities. I will discuss both positive and negative development.

To start with, people moving in the cities and left countryside areas. They move in cities with many reasons. Firstly, they move in cities to find out the better education for their children. Mostly, people move in cities because of the employment. In the cities they could find a better job with high salary as compare to the rural areas. Secondly, it has many facilities in the cities such as school, colleges, hospitals and many other institutes. The transport services is better in the cities as compare to the countryside. That's why people moving in the cities.

On the other hand, it also have some drawbacks. The population is decreasing in the countryside because mostly people move to cities. The rural areas face many difficulties because of the this. they face the shortage of the labors specially in the agriculture fields. Moreover, the when the people move in the cities the pollution increase in the cities because of huge population.

To conclude with, I think this is a negative development. Moving in the cities it has both positive and negative impact. Mostly people choose the cities for their better future and the better education of their children. The rural areas face many consequences because of this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the reasons for migration and the consequences. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention reasons like education and employment, these points are not fully extended with specific examples or logical depth. The position is clear, but the essay structure is slightly contradictory; you state it is a 'negative development' in the introduction, yet you mention you will 'discuss both positive and negative development,' which is unnecessary for this task type. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations for your arguments rather than listing them briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover'). There are also issues with referencing; for instance, 'the this' in the third paragraph is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the conclusion does not effectively synthesise the arguments presented, instead repeating the prompt's premise. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used accurately will help move the essay to a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple words like 'people,' 'cities,' and 'better.' There are also some collocation errors, such as 'find out the better education' (should be 'access better education') and 'shortage of the labors' (should be 'labor shortage'). To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to urbanisation and rural development. Avoid repeating the same words in close proximity, as this limits the range of your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'mostly people moving' instead of 'mostly people move' or 'are moving'; 'it increase' instead of 'it increases'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'the when the people move in the cities the pollution increase.' Punctuation is generally functional, but the lack of control over basic grammar significantly impacts the clarity of your writing. Focusing on consistent verb forms and sentence structure will be key to improvement.

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