Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

many people beleive that increase in the population of cities has a positive effect on development . Many cities are more crowded than rural region . İn my opinion this is not beneficial for country every time . Therefore I do not agree this opinion .

Because when population growth in city , resources are likely to be running out speedly , especially water . people are harmful consumers they do not care environment and resources . They only care with themselves . this means people are selfish most of the time .

For example they buy which they don need and thet dont use their products or clothes and sometimes they throw their clothes easily .

and when increase in the population of cities , this sitation getting worse day by day .

Another problem is trash . A lot of trash in each corner because people consume everything speedly . I think this sitation is the worst problem in big countries because this is not beneficial for people health and this pollution posses a serious threat to health every they . Furtheremore this pollution effect animals at the same time . They live in street like cats and dogs they died because of trash pollution . This is people responsibility. they shoul learn be a friendly and kind to their environment they should control the population in big cities.

İn rural areas need people for work. Espacially in farms. if every people are movin to cities production would disruption

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that rural-to-urban migration is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention resource depletion and pollution, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about rural labor shortages is introduced at the very end but remains underdeveloped. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-supported argument rather than listing general complaints about human behavior. The essay would benefit from more specific examples beyond general statements about 'trash' or 'clothes'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as starting sentences with 'Because' or 'and'. There is a lack of logical progression between ideas; for example, the transition from consumerism to the impact on animals is abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak, making the argument feel like a list of points rather than a cohesive discussion. Using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits the ability to convey complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'people are harmful consumers', 'this sitation getting worse', and 'production would disruption'. Some words are used incorrectly, such as 'posses' instead of 'poses'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the reliance on simple, everyday language prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and precise terminology would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('this pollution effect animals'), missing articles ('in rural areas need people'), and incorrect verb forms ('they shoul learn be a friendly'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your point, they are frequent enough to cause difficulty. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a good starting point for improvement.

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