Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

All over the globe, urbanisation is spreading which is resulting in depletion of rural people along the country's outskirt. According to me, it is a positive development as it improves the living standards of an individual.

The foremost important reason behind this is the increase of job opportunity into cities. Doing up-down everyday from rural to urban area not only becomes economic challenge but also person get tired of travelling on the daily basis. For instance, a person is travelling for 2 hours daily to reach the office and going back, while this creates a huge problem, the huge amount of his salary goes in the travelling expense and it is not safe travelling long distance in many countries. So, moving to city areas becomes feasible and more reasonable option.

On the contrary, taking residence in city not only changes the address but it also changes the culture as well. The religious events or cultural events which use to be the part of their life will now no longer be in their life. Moreover, There will be financial independence as there is good amount wages but nobody have time to socialise with you. Even multiple reports states that life in city is more fast and there is quite good number of chances you feel loneliness and depression.

In conclusion, migrating to city is a good decision to elevate the financial conditions. But there are demerits as well of being alone into a city. Although, I believe moving forward with a good salary is a practical option.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that urbanisation is a positive development. The main ideas—economic opportunity and the burden of commuting—are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. The second body paragraph introduces the negative aspects of city life (loss of culture, loneliness), which creates a slight tension with your stated position. While you acknowledge these as 'demerits,' the argument would be stronger if you focused more on how the benefits outweigh these specific drawbacks rather than simply listing them. The conclusion effectively restates your position, but the overall development of ideas is somewhat superficial and could benefit from more specific, real-world examples beyond the general mention of commuting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'The foremost important reason,' 'On the contrary,' and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition in the second paragraph ('For instance, a person is travelling...') is a bit abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'while this creates a huge problem'—it is not immediately obvious what 'this' refers to. Improved use of linking words and more varied referencing would help the ideas progress more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'urbanisation,' 'depletion,' 'feasible,' and 'financial independence.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'depletion of rural people' (which sounds unnatural; 'depopulation' would be better), 'doing up-down' (which is non-standard), and 'good amount wages' (should be 'good wages' or 'a good amount of money'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. To reach a higher band, focus on using more natural collocations and avoiding informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('person get tired,' 'nobody have time'), article usage errors ('the city' vs 'city'), and awkward phrasing ('there is quite good number of chances you feel loneliness'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips throughout. The errors are noticeable but rarely prevent the reader from understanding your point. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as these are recurring issues throughout the text.

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