Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Globally, in search of better jobs and education people from villages are migrating to urban cities. In most of the countries, rural-urban migration is the primary threat leading to rapid decline in the number of rural population. This essay argues that migration in cities hampers the rural population. Because rural-urban migration leads to brain drain and slow down development rate in rural areas.
Rural-urban migration leads to brain drain, which means significant number of educated people are leaving in urban cities in search of better job opportunities and better living conditions. According to house census 2023 more than 80% of people migrate in urban towns from village. For example, in village like Shengana educated people are leaving there village. Overall, leading to decrease in the population of country side.
However, Rural urban migration is better for environmental factors. Because less number of population means less impact on environment and less pollution. According to recent news in Bhutan broadcast system, minister of agriculture mention Fewer population are greatly contributing in conservation of environment. For example, Lengbi village is one of the cleanest village contributing greatly to maintain carbon negative due to less number of population. So, less population in rural areas has a positive attributes.
This essay will take the side of negative development due to rural-urban migration. According to 13th 5 year plan kazhi village is mostly avoided in most of the developmental plan with approximately 67% lower development rate comparing to other villages. For example, Kazhi village only have 115 people so, less people means less focus by the government, as developmental budget should be prioritized only if there is large amount of population. So, less population in village slower the rate of devlopment.
Therefore, decrease in the population of countryside is primarily, due to rural-urban migration. less population in rural areas means slower developmental rate and causes brain drain.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that rural-urban migration is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the essay identifies 'brain drain' and 'slower development' as negative impacts, the third paragraph introduces a counter-argument regarding environmental benefits, which creates confusion because the essay concludes by reiterating its negative stance. The inclusion of specific examples like 'Shengana' and 'Kazhi' is a positive attempt to support arguments, but the reasoning regarding government budget allocation is somewhat simplistic. To improve, ensure that the position remains consistent throughout and that each paragraph directly supports the main argument without introducing conflicting points that are not effectively refuted.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by the contradictory structure. The transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt, and the fourth paragraph feels like a late addition to the argument rather than a cohesive continuation. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However' and 'Therefore', but they are sometimes used mechanically or to link ideas that do not follow logically. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved to ensure that each one focuses on a single, well-developed point that supports the overall thesis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express basic ideas clearly. There are some attempts at topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'rural-urban migration', 'brain drain', and 'carbon negative'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'avoided in most of the developmental plan' and 'less population in village slower the rate of devlopment'. The range is sufficient to communicate, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Improving collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'in village like Shengana', 'less population means less impact', 'less people means less focus'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation, such as 'For example, Kazhi village only have 115 people so, less people means less focus'. These errors do not usually impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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