Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, many individuals in rural areas around the world are relocating towards the urban areas resulting in decreasing population in villages or countryside. In this essay we will discuss the pros and cons of this sudden changes in demography.

On the one hand, people who live in rural areas are moving to the urban areas for better educations for their children, healthcare, better opportunities and lifestyle. Individuals resided in the countryside does not have many opportunities to work expect agriculture or farming and not everybody owns a big chunk of land so that they can make a good amount of money resulting in relocating. Moreover, heath care is another reason why people think they should move because not every village have a good hospital at the time of emergency. Lastly, a better education system for their children is also a significant reason to move to a urban areas for better future of their child.

On the other hand, Government should address this critical issue by encouraging people by proving sufficient facilities and allocating enough funds for the development of the region. Furthermore, Government should conduct a survey on the regional healthcare system and resolving all the issues like lack of doctors and nurses. Additionally, elementary schools with proper bus service should be their in every county should that children can attend schools before moving in the city for further education. For example, government should educate people of the villages with better technologies for farming or agriculture so that people who owns land can make a good amount of money for their survivals.

To conclude, moving to city is not a positive impact because if everybody will move to the urban areas who will protect the culture of that area. I believe government should promote a better education, heath care and farming culture in these areas so that people can live happily and preserve their culture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for rural-to-urban migration. However, the task asks for an opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. While you mention in the conclusion that it is 'not a positive impact', the essay structure is slightly confused. You spend the second paragraph discussing reasons for moving (the 'pros' for the individual) and the third paragraph suggesting government solutions, rather than clearly arguing why the trend is negative. To improve, ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction and consistently supported throughout the body paragraphs. The ideas are relevant but could be more deeply developed to fully explore the implications of the trend.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, the transition between the reasons for migration and the government's role in the third paragraph is somewhat abrupt. The logical progression is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the link between your arguments and your overall position remains consistent throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demography', 'relocating', and 'allocating'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'better educations' (should be 'better education'), 'resided in' (should be 'residing in'), and 'survivals' (should be 'survival'). Some phrasing is repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'better'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context. The current range is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly, but lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('not every village have' instead of 'has', 'people who owns' instead of 'own') and article usage ('a urban areas' instead of 'an urban area'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are minor errors in sentence construction. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent use of articles, and try to incorporate more varied complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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