Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many parts of the country , Farmers are moving to cities to live a better life, Because of this population in villages is facing a rapid decrease in the population. I consider it is a positive trend and my reasons for stating such will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence, with the Constructive development, the first and foremost aspect is Advanced technology and vast range of opportunities. In other words, in this modern era technology plays a crucial role in a individual life. For example, a person living in rural area does not have sufficient material for study but in cities there are advancement technology in every door step of the school or college like we can see if a person studies is a city college is best option for them to study because , it provide every clean education, management system is well developed and also if he/she wants to focus on a particular subject things like projector , ai , and a advanced laboratory is available there. As a result, they would be able to achieve score and work hard to succeed their dreams

. Furthermore, another point for the positive development is hard work and it requires lot of consistency and discipline because of this a person is able to achieve his desirable jobs , for instance, if a individual is working for medical side, and by chance he/she fails to get their dream job they can also applies for the another job , for example by persueing Bsc nursing he might be able to work as a registered nurse in the hospital, and by doing B pharmacy he can apply for a license to have his own Medical store.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that rural-to-urban migration is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention technology and job opportunities, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the second paragraph focuses on 'hard work' and 'consistency' rather than explaining why the migration itself is positive for the individual or society. The examples provided, such as the specific mention of Bsc nursing or B pharmacy, are slightly tangential to the broader issue of rural depopulation. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly supports your thesis with well-explained, logical reasoning rather than listing general attributes like 'discipline'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence' and 'Furthermore' to signal the start of paragraphs. However, the internal flow within paragraphs is often disjointed. For example, the transition from discussing technology to the conclusion of the first paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with a stray sentence appearing at the end of the second paragraph. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'positive development' and 'a person'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'achieve score' (should be 'achieve high scores') and 'succeed their dreams' (should be 'achieve their dreams'). While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'rural area' and 'advanced laboratory', the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and collocations, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect article usage ('in a individual life'), subject-verb agreement ('management system is well developed'), and punctuation errors, such as unnecessary capitalization ('Farmers', 'Constructive'). There are also fragments and run-on sentences that affect the overall readability. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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