Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a contemporary society, the decrease of the population in a rural area has become increasingly common in society. While a segment of people believe that it has led to a higher impact on the community, others strongly oppose this notion. From my viewpoint, I agree with the given notion and think that it is a negative development as it offers a multitude of significant disadvantages.

To commence with, the compelling reason for supporting my viewpoint is that migration of people to the cities led to the boost of the population. As in urban areas, a lot of people are being settled, which makes the state overcrowded because in cities the employment ratio is greater as compared to rural areas, and they migrate here in order to find a good job. However, it decreases the ratio of employment sectors because people living in their state find a problem, as it is fully occupied with other individuals. For example, it is observed that the economic rate is decreasing rapidly because workers who are working in a company are illiterate and do not have any skills to utilize it in the right way. This causes problems for the development of a country.

Another noteworthy justification is that environmental pollution is also increasing enormously in the urban areas. A huge amount of smoke are being produced, which causes air pollution, and harmful chemicals are being discharged in the rivers and lakes. Due to this, aquatic animals' lives are severely affected by it, as the working ration of people who moved to city side is tremendously increasing, which causes factories to work for long hours. For example, companies, which works 7 hours are now expand to 10 hours to increase the manufacturing ratio owing to a sudden rise of labor. Therefore, it makes the resident life in trouble.

To sum up, it is causing a negative approach for a society where there is already wider populace, and when more people are migrating it becomes worse, and they face several problems in managing their lifestyle due to overpopulation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that rural-to-urban migration is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the environmental impact is clearly linked to urban growth, the argument regarding employment is confusing. The claim that workers are 'illiterate' and lack skills is a sweeping generalization that lacks logical support and does not directly explain why migration itself is negative, but rather criticizes the quality of the workforce. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more nuanced arguments, such as the strain on infrastructure or the loss of agricultural productivity, and ensure your supporting examples are relevant and logically sound.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with,' 'Another noteworthy justification,' and 'To sum up' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'it is observed that the economic rate is decreasing rapidly.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, in the second paragraph, it is not always evident what 'it' refers to. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly point to their antecedents would enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society,' 'notion,' and 'noteworthy justification.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'working ration,' 'expand to 10 hours,' and 'wider populace.' These errors occasionally hinder the precision of your argument. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—rather than just individual synonyms. For example, instead of 'working ration,' consider 'workforce' or 'labor supply.' Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic and precise terminology will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('A huge amount of smoke are being produced,' 'companies, which works 7 hours') and incorrect article usage. Some sentences are also slightly fragmented or lack clarity due to awkward phrasing. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic agreement rules and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with correct verb forms and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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