Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, It is often seen that population from the cosmopolitan cities are moving toward the metropolitan cities so the overall population in villages are decreasing in many countries around the world . In my opinion this is negative development because it increase crowed as well as pollution in Metro cities.

The one considerable reason is peoples are coming from village to the developed cities for earn more money, as a result they will directly reduce the job opportunity and increased competition in business. there fore, high- competition can cause the unemployment. Moreover, If population is high in the metro city then the requirement of food and and home to live is also increased due to which it directly reduce the fertile land for construction of home and also increased food demand.

Another reason to consider is that the increasing population create a crowed, which increase a pollution. for example if you go the the public place where cleanliness will not be maintained due to the crowed of people and it also increased a noise pollution. However, Air pollution will also be increased due to the demand of vehicle will increase and it increase the emission of green house gases which enhance the environmental crisis.

In conclusion, many region around the world are facing the issue of reduction in countryside population which are mainly due to they are moving to the mega cities which increase the crowed and competition, pollution and reduce the job opportunity in mega cities and this is a negative development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the migration is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention job competition and pollution, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the link between rural-to-urban migration and 'fertile land' for construction is a relevant point, but it is not fully explained. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example that directly supports your main argument. The conclusion summarizes the points well, but the overall response remains somewhat superficial in its analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Another reason', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the use of 'However' at the start of the third paragraph, which does not logically contrast with the previous point. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used to show logical relationships rather than just acting as signposts will improve your score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate to convey your meaning, but it is quite repetitive. Words like 'crowed' (misspelled 'crowd'), 'increase', and 'pollution' are used frequently. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'cosmopolitan cities' (which usually refers to the culture of a city rather than its size) and 'requirement of food and and home'. To improve, try to use a wider range of synonyms and more precise collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'increase', you could use 'escalate', 'exacerbate', or 'intensify'. Focus on learning word families to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population... are moving', 'competition can cause the unemployment'), article usage (e.g., 'the requirement of food and and home'), and word form errors (e.g., 'for earn more money'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article consistency.

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