Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries around the world, people are increasingly migrating from rural areas to cities in search of better opportunities, resulting in decline in the population of the countryside. I presume the benefits of these precautionary action would surpass its drawbacks to a major extent. My position is elaborated further with reason and relevant example.

From my perspective, one of the major negative development of migrating from rural areas to urban is the increasing pressure on people living condition, social lives, substantial amount of tax. As large number of people move to cities, residential area can become overcrowded, making it difficult for individual to maintain sense of community. For example, in densely populated area people may barely know their neighbor-hoods, which can lead to social isolation, weaker relationship. Furthermore, the cost of living higher than in rural areas.

Explaining the brighter side of relocated to city, the foremost one is that people experiencing plenty of work opportunities ,such as competitive salary jobs, well learning experience, skill development in advanced environment. Also, capable to get high standard education which makes them to stand differently, builds confidence, learn how to interact with other persons. Moreover, education aware them how to manage their expense , For instance, use of public transport to cut down travel expenses, use insurance card for their health.

In conclusion, living in cities has both positive and negative development, although, this trend can provide individual with greater access to employment, education and public services, I believe that it is a ultimately a negative development because it can place excessive pressure on urban areas and contribute to decline of rural communities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration. However, the position is inconsistent. In the introduction, you state that the benefits 'surpass its drawbacks,' but the conclusion explicitly states, 'I believe that it is ultimately a negative development.' This contradiction makes your position unclear. While you provide relevant ideas such as employment opportunities and urban overcrowding, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. To improve, ensure your stance is maintained consistently throughout the essay and provide more specific, concrete examples to support your arguments rather than relying on generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore,' 'For instance,' and 'In conclusion,' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions are abrupt. For example, the shift from discussing work opportunities to education in the third paragraph lacks a smooth connector. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'these precautionary action' in the introduction, which does not clearly refer back to the migration trend. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the essay flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'densely populated,' 'social isolation,' and 'competitive salary.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'precautionary action' (which is contextually incorrect for migration), 'well learning experience,' and 'education aware them.' These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas with greater precision and naturalness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('cost of living higher than,' 'education aware them') and article usage ('in densely populated area'). There are also issues with verb forms, such as 'relocated to city' instead of 'relocating to the city.' While these errors do not completely prevent communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically ensuring that verbs and nouns agree and that articles are used correctly before singular countable nouns.

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