Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past few decades, the phenomenon of immigration to capitals and vibrant cities is becoming increasingly prevalent especially for people who are living in the countryside and disconnected towns.

I firmly believe that this is serious problem that has major drawbacks on the society. This essay will reveal these detrimental consequences while illustrating with concrete examples.

Nowadays it is undeniable that when the majority of citizens in a country are concentrated in the same city, problems like traffic congestion, pollution and crowded streets will be much more devastating.

In fact, the well-being of a society is when its individuals are living comfortably. Cities where population is quite reasonable can live in harmony and peace. For instance, the lifestyle of an individual living in Dublin the capital of Ireland is much better than someone living in New Delhi the Indian capital.

Furthermore, overpopulated cities will automatically find difficulties in managing their crime rate because law enforcement authorities and police will struggle to ensure security in every corner. For example, the United States of America has one the highest crime rates in the word because it has important populations in each state.

Moreover, if the labor force is concentrated in capitals and modern cities, the countryside will lose its fundamental role. Industries like farming and milk production are fully dependent on the skilled manpower that is now immigrating to shiny cities.

Thus, local immigration can have drastic effects on national resources.

In conclusion, I am convinced that whatever the reasons behind this immigration, governments should try to prevent it by providing job opportunities and necessary amenities in rural cities in the ultimate goal of mitigating its detrimental effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay clearly addresses the prompt by taking a firm position that rural-to-urban migration is a negative development. The ideas are relevant, focusing on urban overcrowding, crime, and the decline of rural industries. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, the comparison between Dublin and New Delhi is a bit simplistic, and the claim that the US has high crime rates because it has 'important populations in each state' is a weak, inaccurate generalization that lacks logical depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced explanations and avoid over-generalizing complex socio-economic issues.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, such as urban problems or the impact on rural industries. Cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Thus' are used to link ideas, though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. To improve, ensure that the internal structure of your paragraphs is more robust; for instance, the transition between the discussion of crime and the impact on the labor force could be smoother to better connect the disparate negative consequences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly. Phrases like 'detrimental consequences', 'vibrant cities', and 'mitigating its detrimental effects' show a good command of academic language. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'immigration to capitals' (internal migration is more accurate) and 'shiny cities' (which is informal and slightly unnatural in this context). While your vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise, topic-specific terminology would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'is becoming increasingly prevalent especially for people' (missing comma) and 'has one the highest crime rates' (missing 'of'). Additionally, 'rural cities' is a contradictory term; 'rural areas' or 'towns' would be more appropriate. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for articles, prepositions, and consistent subject-verb agreement to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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