Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the world, lots of individuals moving from their village to urban areas. Due ton this drastic change, numbers of pupil had been decreased in the countryside. This change have both positive and a negative impacts.

Firstly, when people moving to cities, they show that they want to develop their children in advance environment. Because they have numerous opportunities in developed areas rather than in small town. So that their offspring could face and discover new challenges. This will be fruitful for them in future. Their children get education, more facilities for grooming, tasty food as well as more historical places to visits.

Secondly, negative impact of this migration likely to away from their roots. They busy them in fast life of developed cities. Forget values of their ancestors and their sacrifices for them. Fast lifestyle of big cities given no time to peoples for other activities. They spend their whole life in work like machines just for their children's future.

In the end, I want to elaborate good and bad things about migration. This will help us to improve our life. On the other hand they destroy our identity. Individuals are forgetting their origin, nature and miss clean environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration, noting advantages such as educational opportunities and disadvantages like loss of cultural roots. However, the position is not fully developed due to the brevity of the response. Most importantly, the student's text contains only 200 words, which falls significantly short of the required 250-word minimum specified in the task instructions. This negative word count penalty directly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, ideas such as 'tasty food' or 'historical places' lack deep elaboration suitable for an Academic Task 2 essay. To improve, the student must expand their supporting points and ensure the length requirement is met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into four short paragraphs, showing a basic structural attempt at an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by abrupt transitions and poor sentence linking. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are used, but sentences within the paragraphs often feel disjointed, such as 'When people moving to cities, they show that they want to develop...' Referencing and substitution are also faulty throughout the text, as seen in the pronoun shift from 'they' to 'their children' to 'individuals' without clear antecedents. Paragraphing is present, but paragraphs are underdeveloped and lack cohesive flow. Cohesive devices are minimal, inadequate, and sometimes inaccurate, placing the response firmly at band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent lexical errors that strain the reader. The student relies heavily on simple words and produces noticeable awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'develop their children in advance environment' (instead of 'advanced environment'), 'numbers of pupil' (instead of 'the number of pupils'), and 'fast life of developed cities'. There are also frequent issues with word forms, such as 'Individuals are forgetting their origin, nature and miss clean environment.' While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic topic about urban migration, the lack of control over less common lexical items and the presence of persistent word-choice errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, featuring a very limited range of structures and frequent major errors. Simple sentences often lack essential verbs, as seen in 'In the world, lots of individuals moving from their village...' and 'This change have both positive and a negative impacts.' Complex structures are rarely attempted, and when they do appear, they are heavily flawed, such as 'Because they have numerous opportunities in developed areas rather than in small town.' Subject-verb agreement errors ('This change have', 'numbers of pupil had been decreased'), article omissions, and tense misuse occur in almost every sentence. These persistent errors frequently impede communication and place the grammar score at a band 4.5.

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