Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some countries around the world, rural individuals moving to cities, Hence population in the countryside is drop, Since it is positive aspect due to the fact that the people has employement occupation however students are moving to their higher education enhnace skills, technology.

Overall, in the world various countries, rural citizens are moving to distinct cities some people are moving for their higher studies with part-time work earning finance, some other population was visiting famous places in the world.

To initiate with, positive aspect population was drop to countryside owing to the fact that people are working like agricultare in the town, if they went for cities in the cities they can find dissimilar roles, the children not only but also helping to their parents, hence the children also facing same situations in the town, hence parents consider that in the other country the person can modify same roles, refine their strengthen, they know every thing by the lots of hardwork the capital was coming into our hands, the person body language, brain conditions and some other things are transform, in the city culture and country culture was constrasting the main thing was students are moving to other countries higher studies and earn some finances, As a good example that people believe in that parents are missing but the students reflect be an independent from their 21 years old, Hence the population was decline, who are visiting famous places the had their dreams, they achive their goal with achiveing dreams by seeing their parents hardwork.

In conclusion, some countries around 5 to 10 thousand people are shifiting to other countries based on their education level, in my opinion good thing to move other countries to learn something new from cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the movement of rural people to cities, suggesting it is a positive development largely due to education, employment, and skill enhancement. However, the position is not consistently clear or well-developed. The ideas are heavily convoluted, with multiple tangents about children helping parents, visiting famous places, and moving to other countries, which shifts the focus away from the actual rural-to-urban migration trend specified in the prompt. Furthermore, the arguments lack sufficient extension and support, relying on fragmented and repetitive thoughts rather than coherent reasoning. Because the prompt asks whether rural-to-urban migration is positive or negative, but the response frequently drifts into general overseas migration and education without clearly grounding the arguments, it meets the criteria for Band 5. The ideas are limited, under-developed, and the overall focus struggles to maintain clarity throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks clear logical organisation and overall progression. While the response is broken down into paragraphs, the internal structure of these paragraphs is highly confused, making it difficult for the reader to follow a linear argument. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting sentences repeatedly with 'Hence' or 'To initiate with', which fails to establish meaningful logical relationships between clauses and ideas. Referencing is frequently unclear, as pronouns and connecting phrases fail to link back to previously mentioned concepts properly. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas is erratic, with the second body paragraph collapsing multiple disparate thoughts into a single, rambling block of text. This corresponds to a Band 4 level of coherence and cohesion, as information and ideas are not arranged in a sufficiently coherent manner.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and often misused, which significantly strains the reader's understanding. Phrases such as 'employement occupation', 'earning finance', and 'brain conditions' demonstrate severe limitations in word choice and collocation. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'enhnace skills' and 'constrasting', these attempts are marred by spelling errors and incorrect usage. Words are frequently used in inappropriate grammatical forms or contexts, such as 'drop' used as a noun where a verb or participle is needed, or confusing urban migration with international relocation. Communication is noticeably impeded by these lexical inadequacies, fitting the Band 4 descriptor where vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and errors frequently strain the reader's ability to interpret the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting predominantly of heavily flawed simple sentences and poorly constructed long, run-on sentences joined improperly by commas and conjunctions. There is a near-total absence of error-free sentences. Basic grammatical rules are frequently broken, including severe subject-verb agreement errors ('population was drop', 'the had their dreams'), incorrect tense usage, and missing prepositions or articles. Complex structures are attempted—such as 'the children not only but also helping to their parents'—but they are consistently faulty and often distort the meaning. Punctuation is also misused, with major clauses improperly spliced together with commas. These pervasive, frequent errors that cause severe difficulty for the reader place the essay firmly at Band 4 for grammatical range and accuracy.

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