Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

we can see in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

from my perspective i believe this is both the negative and positive development

if we talk about the negative impacts it will be the more the people are moving to the urban areas the more chances of pollution and big traffics in city.

due to overpopulation in urban areas of the country we are getting the problems of deforesations because not having enough space of living so people are cutting the trees and plan for residential areas to acomodate population.

the second problem is due to more people moving to the cities people are facing the problem of big traffics and noise pollution on roads that afffects the dailylife.

when large numbers of people will move to the cities there will be less numbers of people in countryside that will affect the local growth and also will not have enough workers for agriculture

if we talk positive development we can say cities has better education and career growth opportunities if will move to the cities they can contribute to the economic growth

also the cities has better hospital and health facilities so people can facilitate with this.

in conclusion we can say moving to cities has both positive and negative impact but negative effects is serious than positive ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative developments of rural-to-urban migration, presenting a clear concluding stance that the negative effects outweigh the positive ones. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and under-developed, relying on basic points like traffic and pollution without sufficient extension. Furthermore, the response is significantly under-length, containing only 232 words, which falls short of the mandatory 250-word minimum. This results in a direct penalty to the task achievement score. To improve, the writer needs to expand on examples, provide more depth to each argument, and ensure the word count requirement is fully met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The text suffers from a major structural flaw as it is written as a single, massive paragraph without proper paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While the essay attempts to sequence ideas logically by moving from negative impacts to positive ones, the lack of paragraphing and the minimal use of cohesive devices make the flow mechanical and difficult to follow. References like 'this' or 'such developments' are either missing or repetitive. To achieve a higher band score, the writer must organise the essay into distinct, well-structured paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on everyday words such as 'big traffics', 'better education', and 'more people moving to the cities'. There are noticeable collocation errors, such as 'big traffics' instead of 'heavy traffic', and spelling mistakes like 'deforesations' and 'acomodate'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, preventing the writer from conveying precise meanings. To improve, the student should incorporate less common lexical items, learn correct word collocations, and pay closer attention to spelling and pluralisation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical structure of the essay is dominated by simple sentences and run-on clauses joined by conjunctions like 'and' or 'so' without appropriate punctuation. For instance, sentences such as 'due to overpopulation in urban areas of the country we are getting the problems of deforesations because not having enough space of living' demonstrate faulty complex structures and missing subjects. Punctuation is largely absent throughout the text, and capitalisation rules are ignored at the beginning of sentences. Frequent errors in grammar and mechanics cause some difficulty for the reader, though the core meaning remains partially decipherable.

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