Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It's an ongoing debate that in many countries around the world, villagers are making their way to cities, as a result the population in the countryside is declining. I firmly believe that it is a positive development. This essay will not only elaborate my opinion but also provide suitable examples to defend my argument.

To commence with, one of the significant reason is that it provides people numerous beneficial opportunities to enhance their lifestyle. It is attributed to the fact that giving citizens with various chances in order to set their life can also add a considerable boost to a country's economy. As a result, the gross domestic product of a nation annually also rises with a jump. For instance, most of the residents in England today have been moved to cities in order to get rid of taxes as well as social isolation.

In contrast, a crucial reason behind a negative development can be a decrease in the number of farmers which are playing a vital role in the construction of a society. These people are considered to be the backbone of a nation. Additionally, when these citizens move the growth of countryside falls. Resultantly, it badly affects the overall system of finance of country. For instance, residents of Thailand have been moved from villages to cities, as a result it affected their stock market and resources leading a society to major crisis.

Although, many people think that leaving rural areas can have effects on a country's economy. I strongly believe that moving toward significant growth and opportunities can be a life saving decision. Because to enjoy the taste of a better life is human's basic right.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that the rural-to-urban migration trend is a positive development. The writer introduces relevant ideas, such as economic growth, better lifestyle opportunities, and the counter-argument regarding agricultural decline. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally unsupported by logical facts or realistic examples. For instance, the claim that residents in England moved to cities to get rid of taxes and social isolation is historically and factually unconvincing, and the example regarding Thailand's stock market lacks clarity. While the writer extends their arguments, the over-generalised and unconvincing supporting evidence places this response firmly at Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides of the issue, and a concluding stance. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For example, the transitional phrase 'To commence with' is used awkwardly, and sentences like 'Resultantly, it badly affects the overall system of finance of country' reveal referencing and structural issues that disrupt the smooth flow of ideas. Cohesive devices are present but are occasionally used inaccurately, such as the abrupt shift in the final paragraph starting with 'Although, many people think...'. These issues align well with the Band 6 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'gross domestic product', 'backbone of a nation', and 'social isolation'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing throughout the text. Examples include 'giving citizens with various chances' (incorrect prepositional pattern), 'growth of countryside falls' (unnatural collocation), and 'life saving decision' where 'life-changing' or 'beneficial' would be more appropriate. Additionally, there are awkward phrasings like 'elaborate my opinion' and 'system of finance of country'. These vocabulary errors do not impede overall communication, supporting a Band 6 score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting relative clauses and conditional-style reasoning. However, control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are several noticeable grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('of country'), incorrect verb forms ('farmers which are playing'), and awkward argument framing ('giving citizens with various chances in order to set their life'). Furthermore, punctuation is sometimes faulty, such as comma splices or fragment sentences like 'Because to enjoy the taste of a better life is human's basic right.' While these errors do not impede the reader's understanding of the main points, they prevent the essay from achieving a higher band, making a score of 6.0 appropriate.

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