Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In most states around he world, rural people are moving to citirs side, so the population in the villages is declining.In my opinion, this is a positive changein development.

Most people were lived in countryside, but now they want to move cities for getting facilitates. In the village area, there are less facilities as compared to cities. So, this is a main reason people want to change their place. For instance, education system is more convinient, hospitals also more job oppourtunities available in cities. In cities people learn easily and get their desire job according to their interest while in the viillages, people have less options to do. When people move cities then obiously population go down day by day. Like this, in citiees there population has increased. The atmosphere also effected, such as when people start live in cities then they must neet to use transport, so air pollution rise dramatically.

Cities provide many facilities that is why people want to live here. Educate themselves, do practically work, in any emegancies they get tansport easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response is severely under-length, containing only 176 words compared to the required minimum of 250 words. This significantly limits the development of ideas, resulting in a heavy penalty under Task Achievement. The writer attempts to address the prompt by stating an opinion that the rural exodus is a positive development, offering brief reasons such as better education, healthcare, and job opportunities in cities. However, these ideas are extremely brief, repetitive, and lack sufficient extension and support. Furthermore, the writer briefly introduces negative consequences like air pollution towards the end without properly integrating them into a balanced discussion or supporting them with relevant examples. Consequently, the response only partially addresses the task with under-developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks proper paragraphing and a clear overall progression. The text is broken into short, disjointed blocks of sentences rather than cohesive paragraphs that develop distinct points. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, or misused, such as abrupt transitions and referencing errors (e.g., 'Like this, in citiees there population has increased'). While the writer attempts to sequence ideas logically by moving from reasons for migration to city benefits, the lack of cohesive control and poor structural organization make the overall arrangement difficult to follow. There is no clear introduction or conclusion, leaving the essay feeling unfinished and fragmented.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource is limited and inadequate for an academic task. There are numerous spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'he' instead of 'the', 'citirs' for 'cities', 'changein' for 'change in', 'convinient', 'oppourtunities', 'viillages', 'obiously', 'citiees', 'effected', 'neet', 'emegancies', and 'tansport'. The student relies heavily on basic, repetitive vocabulary such as 'facilities', 'cities', 'people', and 'villages'. While the writer attempts some less common words like 'atmosphere' and 'opportunities', persistent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices (e.g., 'do practically work', 'air pollution rise dramatically') severely impede communication and demonstrate a lack of precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, with a very limited range of structures and frequent intrusive errors. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are generally faulty, such as 'When people move cities then obiously population go down day by day.' There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions (e.g., 'Most people were lived in countryside', 'people want to move cities', 'in any emegancies they get tansport easily'). Punctuation is also poorly handled, with missing spaces after periods and awkward comma splices. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

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