Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, it is becoming increasingly common that the population in the rural areas is declining due to the movement of countryside people to cities. I strongly believe that this is a negative development for several reasons.

To begin with, this phenomenon lowers the proportion of agriculture in many countries, Algeria for instance complains about the lack of farmers due to this movement and it declared that this affects its economic growth. In addition, cities became overcrowded and this created numerous problems such as the lack of residential areas, car accidents, increase in the percentage of the crime.Furthermore, job opportunities will not become available for everyone inside because simply the number of the citizens is much bigger than the market. Thus, unemplyement will spread and so are the unethical practices such as child labour, nepotism, bribery and money laundering. Also schools won’t be able to recept the huge number of small children, consequently the educational domain will also be harmed.

In conclusion, there is no easy answer for this topic, however on balance, the issues that this idea brings and the several challenges that any government will not be able to overcome made me strongly believe that it is a negative phenomenon.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response takes a clear position that the rural exodus is a negative development and supports this with several arguments, such as the decline in agriculture, urban overcrowding, and rising unemployment. However, the essay falls significantly short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 203 words. This under-length severely restricts the depth of your arguments and leads to an incomplete exploration of the topic. While you mention relevant points like Algeria's agricultural situation and various social issues, these ideas remain underdeveloped due to the brevity of the response. To achieve a higher band score in future tasks, you must ensure you meet the word count requirement and expand your supporting examples more thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay presents a basic logical organization with a clear introduction, body paragraph, and conclusion. You attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your ideas. However, the paragraphing is poor, as all body arguments are crammed into a single, overly long paragraph instead of being separated into distinct thematic units. Furthermore, some referencing and transitions feel mechanical, and the conclusion contradicts itself slightly by stating 'there is no easy answer for this topic' after you had stated a strong opinion in the introduction. Improving your paragraphing structure will greatly enhance the overall flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrate an adequate vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'phenomenon', 'unemplyement' (spelling error), 'nepotism', 'bribery', and 'money laundering'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation issues throughout the text, such as 'recept the huge number' instead of 'accommodate' or 'receive', and 'the educational domain will also be harmed'. Additionally, there is a spelling error ('unemplyement') and vocabulary repetition. To reach higher bands, you should refine your collocation choices and utilize a wider, more precise range of vocabulary while ensuring correct spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional or relative clauses like 'people are moving to cities, so the population... is decreasing' and 'cities became overcrowded and this created numerous problems'. You demonstrate control over basic grammar, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'it is becoming increasingly common that the population' is slightly unnatural, and tense consistency falters when shifting between present and past ('Algeria for instance complains... and it declared'). There are also punctuation and phrasing slips such as missing spaces after commas and 'inside because simply the number of the citizens'. Despite these errors, communication is generally not impeded.

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