Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, in many countries rural people left the villages and moving to cities , this may result in population is decreasing in countryside. This trend offers numerous positive ways like people awareness,increasing country developement,rise in technology,climb in people morals, social awareness, self improvement and many more e.t.c in cities . This essay disscuss the positive developement in cities .
To begin with people moving in modern cites , there are many benefits like increasing people awareness. This may lead to understand the people how treat other people ,how to talk other people and how to convence other peolpe . For instance , in cities people want to talk many educated persons , they gain experience how to deal with other persons . In addition , this may cause of country developement. This may result in represent our country all over the world . For example , in such countries , people are highly educated and want to improve technology and many technical things in their countries .
Furthermore , in countries where population is higher in cities than villages or countryside , such countries nation are social awareness. This may offer increasing in people knowledge and experience . For example , peoplr hear news and many social news on mobile phones and computers . In additionally , this may result in rise in technology . For examole , such countries education system and defence system is more advanced than other states .
In conclusion , although there are many benefits of rural peolpe moving to cities in many countries like country developement and other things . In my prespective , there is great step of people to moving in cities from villages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the movement of rural people to cities as a positive development, maintaining a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on vague concepts such as 'people awareness', 'country development', and 'rise in technology' without providing concrete or fully articulated examples. The introduction includes a listing of generic phrases ('people awareness, increasing country developement, rise in technology...') which are not adequately unpacked in the body paragraphs. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments remain superficial and lack depth, aligning best with Band 5 descriptors where ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt at a standard essay structure. However, paragraphing and logical progression are hampered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of smooth transitions between ideas. Cohesive devices are frequently overused or misused, such as repetitive use of 'This may lead to...', 'This may cause...', and 'For example'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall progression feels disjointed because sentences often reiterate the same points rather than building a coherent argument. These features reflect Band 5, where there is some organization but overall progression is lacking and cohesive devices are inadequate or repetitive.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms like 'people', 'cities', 'countries', 'developement', and 'awareness'. There are numerous word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'climb in people morals', 'convence other peolpe', and 'countries nation are social awareness'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'disscuss', 'developement', 'cites', and 'prespective'. While the language is mostly understandable and communicates basic meaning, the lack of a flexible or wide range of vocabulary places this performance firmly at Band 4, where vocabulary is basic and repetitive, causing strain for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex clauses (e.g., 'To begin with people moving in modern cites , there are many benefits like increasing people awareness'). Frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population is decreasing', 'rural people left... and moving'), and punctuation are present throughout the text. Many sentences are grammatically unstable and cause difficulty for the reader in grasping the intended meaning. This profile corresponds to Band 4, characterized by a very limited range of structures and frequent errors that frequently distort meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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