Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the modern era, everyone move to big cities for better carrer. In some countries countryside individuals move to urban areas for better opportunities but it decreasing in the countryside population. I think it has negative effects because it decrease in agriculture field.

To commence with, there are several advantages associated with it. The most prominent point is, better job opportunities. To explain it, every individuals move to urban areas for better education and job opportunities. Moreover, not only better education system but also good transportation and better medical facilities. For example, students go Canada, America and Australis for better carrer and lifestyle. Therefore, in urban cities all the facilities are available near by market like good quality of cloths, food, better medical hospitals, universities for education.

On the other hand, there are numerous negative effects. The main point is, overcrowded. when individuals move to big cities it increases in cities population and it causes over crowded and huge traffic. In addition, shortage of land and also increase in pollution and waste. However, the largest decrease in agriculture field because individuals move to cities and it causes shortage of crops. Furthermore, it effects on local businesses and lose of traditional culture or exchange of culture and forget their mothertoungh.

In conclusion, after taking all aspects into my consideration, I would like to emphasize that it has some valid points. Although they move urban areas for education and job opportunities. I believe that it causes shortage of crops and ecxhange of culture and It increases in population and pollution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task partially by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of rural depopulation, presenting a clear personal opinion that it is a negative development. However, the ideas are limited and under-developed. For instance, the paragraph discussing advantages lists several points like job opportunities, education, and medical facilities without fully elaborating on them, while the conclusion merely restates points rather than synthesizing the argument effectively. Some parts of the prompt, such as exploring the broader implications on society, are only touched upon superficially. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support their ideas with more thorough explanations and relevant examples rather than relying on brief, generalized statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organization with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but overall progression is lacking. The transition between paragraphs feels abrupt, and cohesive devices are often inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'To commence with', 'The main point is', and 'Moreover'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs is disjointed. For example, the body paragraph intended for advantages suddenly shifts into a random example about students going to Canada, America, and Australia without clear logical connection to the surrounding sentences. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it hard to follow the progression of thought. Improving the logical sequencing of sentences and using a wider, more natural variety of cohesive links will help the structure flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'depopulation', 'opportunities', and 'infrastructure', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and form, such as 'carrer' instead of 'career', 'mothertoungh' instead of 'mother tongue', and 'ecxhange' instead of 'exchange'. Word formation errors also appear, such as 'it decreasing' instead of 'it is decreasing'. These lexical errors and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth reading. To achieve a higher score, the student should expand their lexical range, pay closer attention to correct word forms and collocations, and minimize spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic patterns. When the writer attempts more complex structures, they are frequently faulty, such as in the sentence 'when individuals move to big cities it increases in cities population and it causes over crowded and huge traffic.' There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'everyone move'), articles, and prepositions, which cause difficulty for the reader. Punctuation is also erratic at times. To progress to the next level, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence forms with better control over grammar, reducing the frequency of basic structural errors.

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