Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the modern era, everyone moves to big cities for better career. In some countries countryside individuals move to urban areas for better opportunities but it is decreasing in the countryside population. I think it has negative effects because it decreases in agriculture field.

To commence with, there are several advantages associated with it. The most prominent point is, better job opportunities. To explain it, every individuals moves to urban areas for better education and job opportunities. Moreover, not only a better education system but also have good transportation and better medical facilities. For example, students go to Canada, America and Australia for better career and lifestyle. Therefore, in cities all the facilities are available nearby market, like good quality of clothes, food, better medical hospitals, universities.

On the other hand, there are numerous negative effects. The main point is, overcrowded. when individuals moves to big cities it increases in cities population and it causes overcrowded and huge traffic. In addition, shortage of land and also an increase in pollution and waste. However, the largest decrease in agriculture field because individuals moves to cities and it causes shortage of crops. Furthermore, it effects local businesses and loss of traditional culture or exchange of culture and forget their mother toungue.

In conclusion, after taking all aspects into consideration, I would like to emphasize that it has some valid points. Although they moves urban areas for education and job opportunities. I believe that it causes shortage of crops and exchange of culture and It increases population and pollution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task only partially. While the writer attempts to present a position regarding whether the migration from rural to urban areas is a positive or negative development, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the introduction states that the trend has negative effects due to a decrease in the agriculture field, but this point is not fully expanded upon. In the body paragraphs, the writer shifts between discussing the advantages and disadvantages of urbanization rather than maintaining a clear, consistent stance throughout. Some ideas are repetitive, such as mentioning job opportunities and education multiple times without introducing fresh supporting points. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to clearly establish a distinct position in the introduction and conclusion, and ensure that every main idea is thoroughly supported with relevant explanations and specific examples rather than brief, generalized statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organization evident in the response, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The essay is divided into four paragraphs with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an awareness of essay structure. However, the logical flow between and within paragraphs is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are often used inaccurately or repetitively, such as the frequent overuse of transitional phrases like 'To commence with,' 'To explain it,' and 'Moreover.' Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to determine what pronouns or transitional words refer to. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion of the body paragraphs is weak, with sentences feeling disjointed rather than building logically upon one another. To improve, the writer should employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to show clear relationships between ideas, ensuring that each sentence logically leads into the next to create a smoother, more unified progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer uses a basic vocabulary range, frequently repeating words and phrases such as 'better,' 'opportunities,' 'cities,' and 'education.' There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form throughout the response, such as 'decreases in the countryside population' instead of 'a decrease in the rural population,' and 'shortage of crops' where a term like 'agricultural decline' or 'food production' might be more appropriate. Additionally, terms like 'mother toungue' contain spelling errors. These lexical limitations and awkward word choices cause some difficulty for the reader. To move up to a higher band, the student must expand their vocabulary range, incorporate less common lexical items with greater precision, and pay closer attention to natural collocations, word forms, and correct spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and basic sentence patterns. Where the writer attempts complex sentences, they are often faulty, featuring frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles. Examples include 'every individuals moves' instead of 'every individual moves,' 'when individuals moves' instead of 'when individuals move,' and 'it effects local businesses' instead of 'it affects local businesses.' Punctuation errors are also present, such as sentence fragments and run-on structures. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and obscure meaning in several places. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to develop better control over basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and word forms, while attempting a wider variety of accurate complex sentence structures.

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