Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable fact that people nowadays opt to start up in a metropolis. This phenomenon is a result of numerous differences in various aspects between rural and urban areas. However, the rural to urban migration is presenting a range of hazardous drawbacks that cannot be ingnored. These shadowy sides are: labor market disruption, social inequalities, and environmental degradation.

First of all, the population shift from rural to urban areas often leads to labor market disruption, notably manifesting in the form of unemployment and underemployment. As rural inhabitants migrates ti urban centres in pursit of work, the influx of laborers surpasses the requirement of workforce, resulting the increase in unemployement rates. Furthermore, a significant number of migrants find themselves in situations of underemployment, where they take on low-paying jobs that fail to utilize their skills and qualifications. This imbalance in the labor market not only hampers individuals' economic growth but also burdens the overall productivity and stability of urban areas.

The second drawback for urbanization is social inequalities. Rural migrants are more likely to experience discrimination than those who intially live in urban cities. Individuals' migrating frim rural areas may encounter various forms of discrimination in many aspects of life, such as employment opportunities or limited access to social services. It is also a challenge for them to integrate into urban communities because of barriers to education, healthcare, and social support networks. Moreover, urbanization fosters a profound disparity between urban and rural regions. The movement of citizens from their homeland to metropolitian cities has resulted in a severe shortage of labor in rural areas, consequently leading to their underdeveloped economic status in contrast to urban locales.

Finally, rural to urban migration contributes to environmental degradation in various forms. The expansion of urban areas that increased pollution levels, affecting air and water quality and leading to greater energy usage. The concentration of industries, vehicles, and human activities in urban areas leads to the emission of pollutants, which degrades air quality and poses health risk to residents. Additionally, the demand for housing and infrastructure in urban areas leads to deforestation and land degradation. As cities expand, natural habitants are destroyed to make spece for buildings, roads, and other infrastructure projects.

In conclusion, the movement of rural workers to cities to yielding serious problems for society, notably in terms for labor market disruption, the exaverbation of social disparities, and enviornmental degradation. The movement of individuals' to urban centers in pursuit of improved employment prospects is justifiable. However, proactive measures must be implemented to mitigate the risk of overpopulation in metropolitian cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses all parts of the task by clearly establishing a negative position regarding rural-to-urban migration, focusing on labor market disruption, social inequalities, and environmental degradation. You present a clear stance throughout the essay. However, your ideas are developed somewhat unevenly. While the sections on labor and the environment contain good supporting explanations, the discussion on social inequalities touches on several distinct points—such as discrimination, integration barriers, and the economic decline of rural areas—without fully extending or clarifying each one. To move to a higher level, you need to ensure that every main idea is thoroughly explored and supported with deeper explanation or more specific examples, rather than introducing multiple sub-points in a single paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. You use clear paragraphing, dedicating each body paragraph to a specific drawback of urbanization. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'First of all', 'The second drawback', and 'Finally'. However, cohesion occasionally feels somewhat mechanical or formulaic, and referencing is not always completely clear, such as in the transition between ideas in your third paragraph regarding rural economic status. Moving to the next band requires making cohesive links more flexible and natural, ensuring smooth transitions that integrate ideas seamlessly without relying heavily on standard listing phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and subject-specific terms such as 'labor market disruption', 'underemployment', 'social inequalities', and 'environmental degradation'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that reflect some lack of precision, such as 'ingnored' instead of 'ignored', 'migrates ti' instead of 'migrates to', 'unenemployement', 'intially', and 'exaverbation'. Additionally, phrases like 'start up in a metropolis' are slightly unnatural for this context. To achieve a higher score, you should aim for greater precision in word choice and collocations, and eliminate spelling errors to ensure your vocabulary usage is consistently accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout your essay, attempting various dependent clauses and compound structures. There are some grammatical and punctuation errors present, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the expansion of urban areas that increased pollution levels', where verb tenses clash), preposition errors ('in terms for labor market disruption'), and awkward phrasing like 'resulting the increase'. Nevertheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing your meaning to remain clear. To reach a higher level, you should aim for a greater variety of complex structures with higher accuracy, producing a higher frequency of error-free sentences.

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