Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the essay i discussed about the many countries about the world that which the peoples of the rural areas moving to the citiies because many of the faclities are available in the city so people move to the city side where many of the oppournites are available and the population in the countryside is decreasing.

On the one hand i think its a positive developments because many of the examples are available because in the city side many of the facilities are available in the cities. In many countries the rural peoples are moving to cities because many of the oppurnities are develops in the cities where peoples easily search the jobs. In the cities peoples can easily manage our families and furthermore, easily run our business in many facilities. Once more in the cities are better education system where the children join many academies to get the knowledge. The main advantage in the cities during the emergency peoples easily admit the patience in the hospitals. Many of the other facilities such as meal people gave the order to the resturents.

On the second hand, the population in the countriesside is decreased because the rural people moveing to the cities its main problems no many facilities are available every person want to spend our life easily and main is better education are not available in the country side and very difficult to spend his life in the countryside.

In the conclusion, i think the rural people moving to cities is better option because in the city many of the working faclities are available and spend his life easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing an opinion on rural-to-urban migration and discussing both perceived advantages and the lack of countryside facilities. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on advantages largely lists points such as jobs, businesses, education, and hospitals without providing supporting explanations or concrete examples. Furthermore, the introduction is unconventional and resembles a summary of the task rather than a clear thesis statement outlining the writer's position. While the student attempts to cover the task, the limited extension of ideas and repetitive reasoning prevent the response from achieving a higher level of task fulfillment.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some basic organization, separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Paragraphing is handled poorly; the second body paragraph attempts to cover both the drawbacks of the countryside and a fragmented summary, while the paragraphs as a whole lack internal cohesion and logical transition. Cohesive devices are used inadequately or repetitively, with excessive reliance on connectors like 'and', 'because', and 'in the cities'. Pronoun referencing is also frequently unclear, as seen in expressions like 'manage our families and furthermore, easily run our business' where the relationship between referents and nouns is confused, making the flow difficult for the reader to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer relies heavily on basic, repetitive words and phrases such as 'facilities', 'cities', 'rural people', and 'available'. There are numerous noticeable errors in word form, spelling, and word choice throughout the text, including 'citiies', 'faclities', 'oppournites', 'oppurnities', 'countriesside', 'moveing', 'patience' instead of patients, and 'resturents'. These lexical inaccuracies and frequent spelling errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reveal a restricted control of word choices, preventing the response from demonstrating a more flexible or precise range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of repetitive simple sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions. When the writer attempts complex structures, they are frequently faulty, such as in the long opening sentence which lacks a main clause structure and contains severe punctuation and agreement errors. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing or incorrect articles, and faulty prepositions within grammatical patterns. Examples include 'in the city side', 'peoples easily search', 'better education system where the children join', and 'spend his life easily'. These frequent errors require the reader to decode the meaning and cause noticeable difficulty.

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