Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many globes,rural people are moving to towns,which leads to the decresase in population.

I think it is a great development for people moving to cities from the rural area ,because many people want to move from where they are to a particular city,for them to know how they can fully adapt to the environment,during the winter or summer.

However people needs to explore to different places,like going to the park,going to the cinemea to whatch a particular movie,but a person lliving in a rural area cannot go because ,he /she has to consider the means of transportion.

Futhermore, people living in rural areas have good access to local foods,they have good water supply from the stream and they dont waste their money on things they can cultivate and harvest.

Lastly, from my own perspective ,i encourage people should atleast consider moving to cities,because you will have a great opportunities to meet people,their educational system .

In conclusion, i believe that people should move to citiy ,to explote to many things such as culture diversity,visit new place

people should have adventure of travelling to a far city,for instance ,someone who want to travel to lagos can book a flight online to travell.Flight makes travelling smooth and convienent but rural people cannot book online unless they have to come to the city.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to discuss whether rural depopulation is a positive or negative development, but the position remains unclear as the writer mixes arguments for both sides without a clear conclusion. Furthermore, the response fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 221 words instead of the required 250. Ideas are limited and under-developed, relying on simple assertions such as people wanting to adapt to winter or summer in the city, or going to the cinema, rather than exploring broader socio-economic factors like employment or infrastructure. To improve, you must ensure you write at least 250 words and develop a clear, consistent standpoint throughout the essay with well-supported arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, reflecting difficulties in overall organization and progression. While basic paragraphing is attempted, the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, and referencing is unclear, such as the sudden shift between discussing transport, local foods, and then booking a flight online. There is a lack of clear progression from one idea to the next. To reach a higher band, you need to use cohesive devices more accurately and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that links logically to the next, creating a smooth and unified overall structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing limited and minimally adequate ranges such as 'good water supply', 'local foods', and 'particular city'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as 'decresase' instead of decrease, 'cinemea' instead of cinema, 'lliving', 'explote', and 'convienent'. These errors reflect a restricted lexical repertoire and occasional spelling strains that cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, you should expand your range of vocabulary by learning less common lexical items and focusing on correct spelling and word forms in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences, while attempts at more complex structures are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles, incorrect subject-verb agreement like 'people needs', comma splices, and awkward punctuation around conjunctions. For instance, writing 'however people needs to explore' or 'because ,he /she has to consider' demonstrates persistent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, you should practice writing complex sentences with accurate subordination, check your subject-verb agreements, and pay close attention to punctuation rules.

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