Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The trend of relocating to contemporary cities from rural villages and areas has surged all over the world.There are few triggering causes due to which residents consider it advantageous to move to modern cities.Educational benefits,adequate services,career prospects,oppurtunities and health benefits are the central causes of this approach.This strategy benefits only one edge,while leaving other edge to suffer and to comprehend difficulties of life.From my perspective,we can curb these causes and can alter the imperatives by applying an balanced apporoach.It has also become indispensable in the era of modern society to conserve the indigenous sites.

On the one hand, the relocating of folks from antiquated countrysides to ubiquitous cities is generally because of these causes.Initially, educational and economical aspects are the main cause of this transition.Individuals find it more easy to secure there future and it becomes more sufficient to grasp an occupation in cities as compared to the countrysides.Another significant factor for that kind of approach is accessiblity of adequate services.As a result, many people can prove their proficiency in their domain by the abundance of opportunities and amenities.Another notable factor is appropriate health and management services.Subsequently, people would not act as vulnerable to valiant diseases.

By contrast, This approach also offers insight to some drawbacks which are suffered by the countrysides due to immense population in cities and plunging proportion of peoples in the villages.The alleviating population is one the major effect of this relocation.In addition, Environmental degradation and biodiversity is also the considerable impact of people living in cities.Moreover, It mitigates the career opportunities in rural areas by reducing the overall status of local firms and crops.

In conclusion, the judicious approach can act as catalyst for the preservation of rural areas and for the availability of opportunities.We should incorporate several schemes and budget friendly habits to make both ends meet and we can level the field by bridging the gap between residents and facilities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by discussing why people move to cities and identifying disadvantages for rural communities, then conclude that a balanced approach is needed. This gives the response relevant material, but the central judgement is not consistently clear: the opening says the trend benefits “only one edge,” while the conclusion advocates balancing opportunities rather than stating directly whether the development is positive or negative overall. Several points are also asserted rather than explained. For example, you mention environmental degradation and reduced rural career opportunities, but do not show how these effects shape your overall evaluation. State your position explicitly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop two or three key reasons with specific explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on reasons for migration, a paragraph on rural disadvantages, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the one hand,” “By contrast,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated sequencing words such as “Another” and “Moreover,” and some links do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. The first body paragraph mainly explains why people move, rather than clearly developing the positive or negative evaluation. References such as “this approach” are also broad, so the reader must infer what they refer to. Organise each body paragraph around one clear evaluative point and use more precise links between claim, explanation, and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a broad range of vocabulary, including “career prospects,” “educational benefits,” “environmental degradation,” and “biodiversity.” These choices show an effort to discuss the topic beyond basic terms. However, several less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow: “one edge,” “antiquated countrysides,” “valiant diseases,” and “level the field” do not fit their intended contexts. There are also spelling errors, including “oppurtunities,” “apporoach,” and “accessiblity.” Prefer clear, natural collocations over elaborate wording, and check spelling carefully. More precise topic vocabulary—such as rural services, urban employment, and population decline—would help you express your ideas accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “as,” and “by,” and most of the overall meaning can be followed. However, some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “there future” for “their future,” “it becomes more sufficient to grasp an occupation,” and “one the major effect,” which has an incomplete construction. There are also problems with articles and agreement, as in “an balanced approach” and “Environmental degradation and biodiversity is.” Capitalisation and spacing after full stops are inconsistent. To improve control, check articles, possessives, singular/plural agreement, and sentence boundaries, and simplify sentences when a more complex structure becomes difficult to manage.

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