Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

People in many countries around the world are moving form rural to urban area and the population in the countryside is decreasing. In my option, this is a positive shift as people in cities have more opportunity to earn for thier families. Furthermore, people in cities have better access to facilities that improves the standard of living compared to rural areas.

Majority of people nowadays are moving to cities to find better opportunties to earn. Most of the industries and businesses operate in cities, so it is much easier for people to find jobs and provide for themselfs and their families. Futhermore, many individuals can open their small to medium scale buinesses because of the greater commercial actvity in urban centers. For example, Many individuals source their products from their villages and town to sell them at higer profits in the cities as a result they earn much more compared to selling the same products in their hometown.

Urban areas also have better standard of living due to better access to the internet, electricity and educational institutes. Many people prefer these facilities rather then staying in rural areas. Many families move towards cities to provide better education for their children as many of thier partents did not had opportunity to ascess the same type of education institutes in rural areas. For example, Majority of students in Multan are from rural areas because moved to cities to pursue higher education as it was not available in the countryside.

In conclusion, I think overall it is a possitive development that many people are moving form countryside to citites beacuse it gives them opportunity to make much more money for themselfs and thier families. Additionally, in cities people have more access to facilities that improve thier chance of sucess by giving them better standard of living.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive because it can improve earning opportunities and access to services. Both reasons are relevant and are supported with examples, including people selling village products in cities and students moving to Multan for higher education. This addresses the task and gives the reader a consistent argument. To strengthen the response further, develop the examples with more precise explanation and avoid broad claims such as “Majority of students in Multan are from rural areas” without support. You could also acknowledge a possible drawback, such as pressure on city housing or services, before explaining why you still view the overall change positively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear four-part structure: an introduction stating your view, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion that restates your position. The progression from employment to living standards is logical, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. Some linking is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “Furthermore” and “For example,” and a few sentences contain several connected ideas without clear punctuation, as in the example about sourcing products and earning higher profits. Use a wider range of transitions and make the relationship between clauses clearer. More precise referencing would also help connect examples to the claims they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “industries,” “commercial activity,” “educational institutes,” and “standard of living.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, but the range and control are limited by repeated general terms such as “better,” “people,” and “cities,” as well as noticeable spelling and word-choice errors. Examples include “opportunties,” “buinesses,” “higer,” and “possitive.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “earn for their families” and “greater commercial activity” in this context. Build a more precise range for discussing employment, services, and migration, and proofread spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would make the argument sound clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “as,” and “as a result,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms are frequent enough to limit accuracy. For example, “facilities that improves” should have a plural verb, while “their parents did not had opportunity” has problems with the auxiliary, article, and verb form. The sentence beginning “For example, Majority of students…” also lacks a clear grammatical connection after “because.” Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and divide long sentences where needed. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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