Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this globalised world of advancement and technology. Rural people are moving to cities has become a controversial issue. In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is drcreasing. I will discuss both side first and then will give my own opinion at the end.

On the ond hand, there are several benefits of rural people are moving to cities. Firstly, some people are moving the cities because more opportunities in cities rather then rural areas. In cities have big hospital, mall, factories, park areas and other opportunity that way people are moving to cities. Secondly, some are moving to cities because in rural area have no job for young boy that way some people are moving to cities about job because cities offer better job opportunities with high salaries. Furthermore, cities provide better education and medical facilities.

Finally, English has become a gobal language. To get better career prospects and to go abroad, people need to improve their English. Some people are moving to cities because they are show off person. They want to show off to other people. In recently year, an increasing number of people have been moving from rural areas to cities. The main reason for this is employment. cities provide healthcare for people.

In conclusion, according to me cities provide better things for people rather than rural areas. Some people moving to cities beacuse they learn more skills in cities. I think cities provide the better opportunity likes education, healthcare, job and other good things

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is only partly successful in addressing the question. It gives reasons why people move to cities—employment, education, healthcare and other facilities—and the conclusion suggests that you see this as positive. However, the task asks whether the overall development is positive or negative, and that position is not stated clearly until the conclusion; the promised discussion of “both side” is not actually developed. Several points are repeated or unclear, such as the comments about English and “show off,” and there is little explanation of how rural population decline affects either place. The response is also 9 words below the 250-word minimum; 19 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop a clear position and support it with relevant, explained examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an introduction, a body paragraph and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help identify stages. However, ideas are not arranged in a coherent progression. The paragraph beginning “Finally, English has become a global language” shifts from migration reasons to language learning and then to showing off, without explaining how these points connect. The introduction promises to discuss both sides, but the body mainly lists perceived advantages, while the conclusion repeats them. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically rather than to show a clear relationship between ideas. Group related reasons together, use separate paragraphs for distinct arguments, and make each sentence build on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “opportunities,” “job,” “education,” “healthcare” and “career prospects,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is repetitive and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning awkward: “big hospital,” “moving the cities,” “show off person” and “better things” are examples. Spelling errors such as “drcreasing,” “gobal” and “beacuse” also weaken control. Aim for more precise phrases and avoid repeating “cities provide” and “moving to cities.” For example, describe “a wider range of employment opportunities” or “access to better-equipped hospitals” to express the ideas more naturally and specifically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to use longer structures, including “because” clauses and the sentence beginning “To get better career prospects and to go abroad,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns and can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Rural people are moving to cities has become” combines incompatible structures, while “In cities have big hospital” lacks a clear subject and has an article error. Other examples include “some people moving to cities” and “cities provide the better opportunity,” where verb forms and sentence construction are faulty. Punctuation also needs attention, particularly the opening fragment and the lowercase “cities” after a full stop. Practise complete subject–verb sentences before adding more complex clauses.

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