Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

it is often argued that the population in the countryside is declining in many nations because the rural people are migrating to cities. I belive it can be seen as a positive evolvement becuase cities offers more employment oppurtunities and better healthcare facilities.

Firstly, in many countries the significant rise in the rural population is the cause of many issues, which includes more illetracy rate and less sources of energy. In rural areas most society members are not educated because of this if someone suffers from illness he coudnt recieve good treatment which in sometime becomes a cause of his death. Additionally, rural areas cannot have resurces and funds to produce better sources of energy.

Secondly, I think moving to cities have many benefits. However, it can support people in securing good employment and get better healthcare options.For instance, in many countries rural areas have very few hospitals and are not well maintaned, which can cause a lot of problems. In many nations highly educated personal struggles to find better jobs in rural areas. These problems can be overcome by shifting to cities, as urban areas offers a wide range of hospitals and jobs based on the personal education qualifications.

In conclusion, rural people moving to cities can cause a drop in countryside population, I agree that migrating to cities is a good sign of develpoment because cities can help them found better future job opportunities and medical facilities.Therefore, countries should encourage personal to move to urban areas, without realizing the decline in population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive, mainly because cities offer more jobs and better healthcare. Both reasons are relevant, and the examples about limited hospitals and employment in rural areas help address the question. However, the first body paragraph is less clearly connected to the trend: it refers to a “significant rise in the rural population,” although the prompt concerns a decline, and claims about illiteracy and energy resources are not fully explained. The conclusion also recommends encouraging migration without considering possible disadvantages or explaining why this is appropriate. Develop each reason with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and support your position with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow, and the central position remains consistent. However, some links between ideas are mechanical or unclear. For example, “However” does not express a contrast in the second body paragraph, and the sentence beginning “Additionally” shifts to energy resources without showing how this supports the argument about migration. The reference to a rise in rural population also disrupts the progression from the prompt’s stated decline. Use linking expressions according to the relationship between ideas, and make each paragraph develop one clearly connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including “employment opportunities,” “healthcare facilities,” “rural areas,” and “urban areas.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “education qualifications.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “belive,” “evolvement,” “illetracy,” and “develpoment” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, including “less sources of energy,” “highly educated personal,” and “found better future job opportunities.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases; this will make your vocabulary more precise and natural without needing unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a relative clause beginning “which.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction remain. For example, “cities offers” should use a plural verb, while “moving to cities have” needs a singular subject-verb pattern. In “if someone suffers from illness he coudnt recieve,” punctuation is needed after the introductory clause, and the pronoun reference is awkward. There are also run-on or poorly punctuated transitions, such as “healthcare options.For instance.” Review agreement and sentence boundaries, then proofread for punctuation while continuing to practise varied sentence structures.

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