Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, population has increase rapidly and people are moving to cities for better employement. some people believe it has postive development and other people thinks it has negative development. From my perspective it is negative development for rural people who are moving to cities.

There are several reasons why people move to cities. Firstly, They move because plently of oppournities are available in large cities however people move to big cities. Another big reason are moving to cities are education, there is a good oppournity for learning new skills and making life better. many people move because they can improve their living stsndard and also perfoaming high salary jobs. Another reason cities usaually have better educational instituations, transpot, hospitals and cafes. many people move rural areas to pakistan big cities like lahore, islamabad, and karachi.

other people believe that it has negative development because large number of people move rural areas and their have not enough worker not to

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify a relevant position—“it is negative development”—and give reasons people leave rural areas, including employment, education and services. However, the response mainly explains why people move rather than developing why the resulting decline in rural population is positive or negative. The final paragraph begins a relevant negative point about a shortage of workers, but it is unfinished (“not enough worker not to”) and gives no explanation or example. The task therefore receives only minimal treatment, with the central argument largely unsupported. The response also falls 91 words short of the required minimum, leaving too little space to address both sides of the question and develop your view. Build a complete argument about the effects on rural communities and support it with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph, a paragraph listing reasons for migration, and a final paragraph that starts to present a negative consequence. Sequencing words such as “Firstly” and “Another reason” help signal the list. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the second paragraph repeats the same point about moving to cities and shifts between reasons without clear links. For example, “however people move to big cities” does not show a clear contrast, and the final paragraph stops mid-thought. Paragraphing is present, but the ideas are not arranged into a coherent argument answering the question. Use one paragraph to explain the causes only if relevant, then organise the main body around developed effects and connect each point explicitly to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “employment,” “education,” “living standard,” and “educational institutions,” so the reader can identify several intended ideas. However, the range is repetitive, especially with repeated references to “cities” and “move,” and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear. Examples include “employement,” “oppournities,” “stsndard,” and “transpot.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “perfoaming high salary jobs” and “a good oppournity for learning.” Aim for accurate topic vocabulary and natural collocations, such as “access to better-paid jobs” and “educational opportunities.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise phrases would make your meaning easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences using “because” and “however,” but most structures are simple, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to interpret. For instance, “population has increase rapidly” has an incorrect verb form, while “some people believe it has postive development and other people thinks” contains problems with sentence-initial capitalisation and subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “Another big reason are moving to cities are education” is not grammatically controlled, and the final clause is incomplete. Full stops and capital letters are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas with one clear subordinate clause. Check verb forms, agreement, sentence boundaries and capitalisation during revision.

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