Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In modern world, rural people are migrating daily towards cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.In this essay, i will cover the both positive and negative aspects in the development of country.In the last, I will share my opinion.

Due to the increased inflation, citizens of mostly countries are migrating to the foreign countries for pursuing education and work visa.For example, pakistani citizens are very concerned about their future as getting a job is not easy in this saturated market.Salary is very low in all sectors and they cannot affort their expenditures.Growth is very limited.In contrast to transportation,electricity,food,water and clothing which are not easily affordable buy lower middle income families.Despite this,their standard of living is also compromised due to increasing inflation.Infact, poor people are suffering from malnutrition and undernutrition in contrast to their non affordable food and water expenses.Due to this trend,urban population are shifting towards the foreign side resulting in the reduction of total population of country. While in rural areas, peoples are shifting to the urban areas due to limited growth,opportunities and lack of good quality education.Rural areas are not fully developed.In order to get job,they commute daily to urban cities for their survival.

In my opinion, government should take steps for the improvement and development of rural areas.Policies must be developed for the job allocation of the people of rural side.Also,growth must be given to qualified graduates so they donot move to the foreign countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response recognises that rural-to-urban migration is the issue and gives a relevant recommendation: the government should improve rural areas and create jobs. However, it does not clearly answer whether this development is positive or negative; the opening promises to discuss both sides, but the essay mainly lists economic hardship and migration without evaluating the trend. Much of the discussion shifts to people leaving Pakistan for foreign countries, which is not the task’s central comparison. The examples and claims about inflation, salaries and living costs are not developed into a clear argument about the effects on rural communities or cities. The response is also 18 words below the 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are excluded from the count. State your position directly and support it with focused, relevant reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic overall shape: an introduction, a long body paragraph and a concluding opinion. Some links, such as “For example,” “In contrast” and “In my opinion,” signal relationships between points. However, progression is difficult to follow because the body moves from inflation and overseas migration to rural-to-urban movement without clearly connecting these topics. Several ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and transitions such as “Despite this” and “In contrast” do not always show a clear logical relationship. The conclusion introduces a recommendation but does not summarise a developed argument. Organise the essay into focused paragraphs—for example, one on effects on rural areas and one on effects on cities—and use linking phrases only where the relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “inflation,” “saturated market,” “malnutrition,” “standard of living” and “job allocation.” These choices show an attempt to discuss economic and social issues rather than relying only on very basic words. However, the range is uneven, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “foreign side,” “growth must be given” and “non affordable food and water expenses.” Spelling errors, including “affort,” also reduce accuracy. Some repetition of “growth,” “people” and “areas” limits precision. Build a more reliable set of phrases for migration and rural development, and check spelling and collocations so that your intended meaning is immediately clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “while” and “due to,” and the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty or difficult to follow. Errors include missing or incorrect articles and prepositions (“In modern world,” “towards cities”), agreement problems (“urban population are shifting”) and incorrect plural forms (“peoples”). Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent: several sentences run together, while spaces after full stops and commas are often missing. Capitalisation is inconsistent, as in “i” and “pakistani.” Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas with accurate subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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