Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries residents are moving toward cities from villiges due to which the population of rural areas are declining. This essay will discuss the view and will ague that this is a negative development. This is because there will be less people to work in the agriculture sector and the production of agricultural products will decline.

On the one hand, The population of the rural areas are decreasing rapidly due to the mass relocation toward the cities. They move to cities because of better job opportunities so they can support their families. The aslo want their children to get better and quality education so they can become successful in life. The also want to get better health care to live a better and a healthy life. For instance, in countryside there are no big hospitals or doctors available due to which the health care is poor, the citizens are then forced tomove toward cities to get a good and quality healthcare system.

On the other hand, I believe that this is a negative development because if this displament continued like this, it is no far that the countryside will become almost empty. There will be very little people lleft to work in the agriculture field. Which will leads to less production of food supply due to which the prices of the products will boom. It will also leave a nagetive impact on the economy of the country, which will gives the nation a hard time.

In conclusion, although moving toward the cities provide more opportunities, I believe that its drawbacks will outweigh its positive impacts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you argue that rural-to-urban migration is negative, chiefly because fewer people will work in agriculture and food production may fall. You also acknowledge why people move, including employment, education and healthcare, so the response addresses both the trend and its effects. The agriculture point is relevant, but its consequences are asserted rather than fully explained or supported with a specific example. The discussion of migration’s benefits is more developed than the case against it, and the conclusion mainly repeats your view. To strengthen the response, explain how reduced rural labour affects food supply and the wider economy, and add a concrete example or evidence while maintaining your clear position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the argument. However, the first body paragraph focuses on reasons people leave rather than clearly developing the positive side of the development, and the shift to your negative judgement in the next paragraph feels somewhat abrupt. Some links are also mechanical or unclear, particularly the repeated “due to which” constructions. Organise each paragraph around one clear purpose, use pronouns with unmistakable references, and connect cause and effect more naturally to improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “job opportunities,” “agriculture sector,” “production,” and “economy,” and the meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision: “villiges,” “displament,” “nagetive,” and “the prices of the products will boom.” Phrases such as “better and quality education” and “good and quality healthcare system” are repetitive and unnatural. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding similar adjectives, and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “rural workforce,” “food prices may rise,” and “access to healthcare” would help express the argument more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect clauses and conditional phrasing, as in “if this displament continued like this.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, sentence boundaries and punctuation sometimes make the argument harder to follow. For example, “the population … are decreasing” needs singular agreement, while “Which will leads” is an incomplete sentence with an incorrect verb form. “There will be very little people” also has a quantifier error. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and main verb, and review agreement and clause structure. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to read.

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