Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, people are moving from rural areas to urban areas which leads to rapid urbanisation. I believe that this is a negative development becuase this causes pollution and competition in job market may increase. In this essay, I will discuss disadvantages of this trend before reaching a conclusion.

Firstly, the main drawback is environmental damage causes by increasing population in cities. When more people move to cities, demand for houses, vehicles and other facilities increases which may contribute to air pollution. For instance, people travel by bus, car or bike for different purposes and increased population can contribute to more fuel consumption which result in environmental damage.

Secondly, when a large number of people migrate to urban areas, it may impact employment prospect. Already qualified people are facing difficulties in job hunting, when more people settle then it may cause problem for existing people. For example, healthcare sectors have limited number of seats that are already filled. Every year, a large number of candidates are graduating and when more people come, they may face challanges to secure jobs. As a result, this trend causes serious problems for people.

In a conclusion, rural people are moving to cities is a major drawback because it causes air pollution and competition in job market. From my perspective, the government should provide all basic facilities to rural areas such as better education institutions, hospitals and other facilities to overcome this concern. Moreover, authorities should tackle pollution problems by planting more trees.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard rural-to-urban migration as negative, and the conclusion restates this view. You address the question with two relevant reasons—pollution and competition for jobs—and offer examples involving transport and healthcare employment. This gives the response a sound, relevant basis. However, the support is uneven: the pollution example explains a plausible link, while the healthcare example is less clear about how migration specifically increases competition for those jobs. The proposed remedies in the conclusion are relevant but are not developed. To strengthen the response, explain each cause-and-effect link more precisely and extend at least one example with a concrete illustration of its impact on residents or rural communities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In a conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and examples are placed alongside the points they support. This coherent arrangement is a strength. At times, however, linking is mechanical, and some connections between sentences are not fully smooth. For example, the shift from difficulties faced by qualified jobseekers to the number of healthcare-sector seats is abrupt, and “As a result” does not clearly identify the consequence being summarised. Use more precise referencing and vary transitions by showing the relationship between each claim and its example, rather than relying mainly on formulaic signposts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “rapid urbanisation,” “environmental damage,” “fuel consumption,” and “migrate,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There is also some attempt to use more formal language, such as “employment prospect.” However, the range and control are uneven: several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, including “competition in job market,” “limited number of seats,” and “overcome this concern.” Spelling errors such as “becuase” and “challanges” are noticeable, while “causes” in “environmental damage causes by” appears to be an incorrect word form. Aim for more accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would make the argument sound clearer and more natural without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures such as “When more people move to cities…” and “because it causes air pollution.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, and the essay is organised into complete sentences. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “environmental damage causes by increasing population” has an incorrect verb form, while “which result in environmental damage” does not agree with its subject. The sentence beginning “Already qualified people are facing difficulties…” joins two independent clauses with a comma, and “rural people are moving to cities is a major drawback” lacks a grammatical structure for the subject. Practise agreement, clause boundaries, and sentence framing, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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