Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemorary world, numerous amount of people from rural backgrounds are deciding to move to urban cities for the sake of better opportunities. While the population in the countryside is decreasing drastically, I believe that it has far more positive implications than the negative.

One viewpoint is that rural people are moving to the cities in search of employment opportunities. Many people are being employed in different manufacturing, telecmmunication, and technological firms. Hence, a huge number people contributes to the improvement in the economic growth of country. For instance, in China, enormous pupils from the countryside shifted to the urban areas and

helped improve the overall economy by working in different departments, such as, healthcare, transport or agriculture sector. Moreover, cities provide many facilities which are not available in the rural areas. For example, better medical, public, and transport services.

On the other hand, a rapid transfer of numerous pupils from the countryside to the cities lead to decrease in the population of such areas. Consequently, the urban regions are more likely to become over crowded, and can even face the shortage of resources. Furthemore, many conventional agricultural practices are likely to be distrupted after a huge shift of people to cities. Thus, many families that were held together might fall apart because their children moves to urban areas for better schooling, and other facilities.

In conclusion, although rapid transfer of an enormous number of rural pupils to the bigger cities play a significant role in disturbing the rural lives, I believe the positive outcomes of it are far more than the negative ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider rural-to-urban migration more positive than negative, and the conclusion maintains this view. You address both sides, giving relevant points about employment, economic growth and access to services, as well as overcrowding, resource shortages and disruption to rural agriculture and families. The China example helps make the economic point more concrete. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the benefits of medical and transport services are listed but not linked to specific improvements in people’s lives, while the effects on families are introduced briefly. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points with clearer explanation and examples, and make the comparison between the positive and negative effects more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Hence,” “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “Consequently” help signal the relationships between ideas. This gives the essay a clear basic progression. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical or the reference is unclear: “such areas” could be more precisely identified, and the move from overcrowding to family separation is abrupt. The first body paragraph also combines employment, economic growth and public services without fully showing how each point connects to the main argument. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions that explain the relationship between points, rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “employment opportunities,” “economic growth,” “agricultural practices” and “shortage of resources.” These choices show that you can discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “contemorary,” “telecmmunication,” “Furthemore” and “distrupted.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “numerous amount of people,” “urban cities,” and “rural pupils” do not fit the intended meaning well. In particular, “pupils” means schoolchildren, whereas you are referring to people or residents. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; a more controlled range of vocabulary would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including a concessive opening (“While the population…”) and cause-and-effect clauses introduced by “Consequently” and “because.” Most sentences remain understandable, and the errors do not generally prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical problems persist, particularly with agreement and verb forms: “a huge number people contributes” needs a clearer noun phrase and matching verb, “a rapid transfer … lead” should agree with its singular subject, and “their children moves” should use a plural verb. There are also article and plural issues in phrases such as “economic growth of country” and “the negative ones.” Review subject–verb agreement and article use, then proofread each sentence for these patterns while retaining your varied sentence structures.

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