Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the modern world, youth in many countries are motivated to achieve gainful employement that would subsequently help them improve their standard of living. This aspiration can be attributed to the widespread migration of people from rural areas to bustling cities, seen in many countries. While there are several upsides to the individual and thier family, the negative consequences for the overall country are greater.

One of the major driving factor to move to cities, is the concentration of several large enterprises and companies that gurantee employment. One needs to find jobs that match their educational qualifications.While several colleges that provide a range of programs such as engineering and medicine have come up in the countryside, companies and hospitals that can employ these graduates are still lacking in these regions. Therefore, the youth have no option but to move to cities. The issue resulting from this is: brain drain. Skilled workers move out of rural areas, leaving the population with less qualified workforce. For instance, hospitals in villages may host doctors and therapists that are less sought after in urban hospitals. Why should the rural population not have access to quality healthcare. This unfair distribution of skilled staff is an imortant problem requiring government intervention. Similarly, major software companies are only concentrated in a handful of cities requiring individuals to relocate. The resulting consequence is soaring house rent, traffic-congestion and pollution. The governemnt should therefore, provide incentives to encourage the establishement of hospitals in businesses in rural areas.

Nevertheless, there are several advantages at the indivifual level. One can move to a new city and experience a different way of living. They can explore different restaurants, museums and indulge in the local culture. One can build a new network of friends, be exposed to different perspectives and ideas that can open up newer opportunities. Aditionally, access to better qualtiy of healthcare, quicker servies and better schooling for their children are some of the major upsides for the individual.

In conclusion, I believe while there are several opportunities and improvement in quality of life for an individual moving to a city, there are far more negative consequences to the economy of the country. Instead the governement should ensure a uniform development of different regions in their respective countries, that would fullfill the needs of people striving to move elsewhere in their very own hometowns.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: although moving to cities can improve individuals’ opportunities and quality of life, you judge the wider national effects to be more negative. You support this with relevant points about skilled workers leaving rural areas, unequal access to healthcare, and urban congestion, and you also acknowledge personal benefits such as education and cultural experiences. This addresses both sides of the question and gives the reader a reasoned answer. To strengthen the response further, develop some claims more precisely: the example about less sought-after rural doctors is not fully explained, and the link between migration and national economic harm could be made more explicit. A more specific example would also make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, moving from the causes and national consequences of migration to individual advantages and then to a conclusion that restates your view. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “Nevertheless” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. Within the main body, however, several points are packed into long sequences, particularly the discussion of employment, brain drain, healthcare, and urban problems. This makes some relationships between ideas less clear. The question “Why should the rural population not have access to quality healthcare” also interrupts the formal progression. Group related points more deliberately and use clearer links to show cause and effect, rather than relying mainly on broad transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt some less common expressions, including “gainful employment,” “brain drain,” “incentives,” and “uniform development.” These choices help communicate the topic and your position. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the resulting consequence,” “soaring house rent,” and “establishement of hospitals in businesses.” There are also spelling errors, including “employement,” “imortant,” and “governement,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “rising rents” and “establishing hospitals and businesses.” This would make your vocabulary more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “While,” “Therefore,” and “that would,” and your meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “One of the major driving factor” needs plural agreement (“factors”), and “companies and hospitals that can employ these graduates are still lacking” has an unclear construction. The sentence beginning “The governemnt should therefore” also has awkward punctuation around “therefore,” while “Why should the rural population not have access to quality healthcare” needs a question mark. Review agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, and revise long sentences so their grammatical relationships are easier to follow. More consistent accuracy would strengthen the range you already attempt.

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