Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Individials who live in countryside are migrating to urban areas causing shrink in population in rural area in numerous countries. Is this transition has beneficial aspects or not? It is more likely to be negative development as it harms both areas. It leaves rural areas with insufficient and unskilled workforce whereas causes increase in population for urban areas.

When talking about migration, most common reason for this is seeking occupation. In order to work in city, workers must have recieved training and education as their distination usually experiences over supply of employees than demand. Consequently, in most cases, skilled residents who are capable to work, move to cities to feed their family. Even though it coulb seen as relatively good thing, rural areas often leave without enough workers leading to low production of goods and services. This means that area won't develop. For example, in case of Mongolia, many teachers moved to UlanBator city as wages there are tent bo higher. In effect, countryside left without any skilled teacher leading to increased student number in a class and low quality of education.

When people shift to area which is thriving, that area's population increases. As number of working aged people in city increases supply of labour increases while demand of labour remain constant. This can possibly lead to unemploymet decreasing living stantard and pulling back desired development. High population also means more people per unit area increasing density. This leads to traffic conjestion, increased pollution and more crime rates. These make residents stressful leading to low satisfaction for their life, decreasing their motivation as well as productivity. In case of Mongolia which is mentioned before, one of the possible reasons for UlanBator's increase in traffic conjestion and air pollution is arriving of people from countryside.

To conclude, migration of people from rural to urban areas significantly causes negavtive development even though there could be some advantages. So it's necessary to find solutiom for this issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the movement negative because it harms both rural and urban areas, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both effects with relevant explanations and a specific Mongolia example about teachers moving to Ulan Bator. This gives the response a solid, relevant argument. To make the discussion more fully developed, explain the causes and consequences more precisely: for instance, the claim that urban labour supply rises while demand stays constant needs qualification or supporting detail, and the final call to “find solution” is not developed. The response already shows some extension through examples, but fuller support and a more considered treatment of possible benefits would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs discuss rural and urban consequences, and a conclusion summarises your position. The progression from teacher shortages to urban pressures is easy to follow, and phrases such as “Consequently,” “For example,” and “To conclude” help signal relationships. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “When talking about migration” is a broad opening, while “Even though it could be seen as relatively good thing” does not clearly identify what “it” refers to. The second body paragraph also moves quickly from labour supply to density, pollution and crime. Use clearer referencing and develop each paragraph around a more explicit sequence of cause and effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “workforce,” “supply of labour,” “unemployment,” “traffic congestion,” and “air pollution,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “working aged people” and “low quality of education.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “Individials,” “distination,” “conjestion,” and “negavtive” are examples. Several combinations are also unnatural, including “feed their family,” “crime rates” after “more,” and “arriving of people.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases. A more precise range would also help you express the economic and social effects without relying on broad terms such as “good thing” and “area.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect clauses with “whereas,” “Consequently,” and “leading to.” This allows you to express relationships between migration and its effects. However, errors occur across sentence patterns and sometimes make meaning less smooth. For example, “Is this transition has beneficial aspects or not?” has incorrect question formation; “rural areas often leave without enough workers” has an incomplete verb construction; and “As number of working aged people in city increases” is missing articles. There are also agreement and verb-form problems in “demand of labour remain constant.” Practise forming indirect and direct questions, checking articles and subject–verb agreement, and proofreading each sentence for a complete, correctly formed clause.

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