Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many countries the people living in rural areas are relocating to cities, which in return cause massive decline in population in rural areas. While there are certain benefits of shifting in cities such as economic growth and career opportunities, I believe it is a negative development and my inclination will be justify in the upcoming paragraphs.

The primary drawback of moving toward cities is that it can cause overcrowding in cities. The people migrating from rural to cities in search of jobs and employment can overpopulate cities which consequently, results in severe ramification such as traffic congestion, housing shortage and built pressure on health care organization and schools. Another major disadvantage of migration is the destruction of forest and agricultural land. In order to fulfill the requirements of people expansion of cities will become mandatory. As a result, large amount of forest area and agricultural land will flattened and used to expand the city.

Furthermore, this relocation can also increase inflation rapidly. To elaborate, due to migration of people from rural areas, shortage of labor will take place, who works in agricultural fields. This shortage will leads to reduction in agricultural products, hence the rates of agricultural products will surge very fast. Moreover, due to lack of resources to fulfill the requirement of overpopulation in cities the prices of daily commodities will also rise, which eventually lead to increase in inflation across the country.

In conclusion, although the people moving to cities can privilege by facilities such as transportation, electricity, employment, however the harmful effects of migration such as overcrowding of cities, traffic congestion, inflation, and shortage of resources make it over all a negative development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you acknowledge benefits such as economic growth and employment, but argue that rural-to-urban migration is negative. You support this view with relevant consequences, including overcrowding, pressure on services, loss of farmland, and inflation, and you explain several cause-and-effect links. This gives the response a clear, relevant answer to the question. To strengthen the development further, make some claims more precise and support them with a concrete example or qualification. For instance, the link between fewer agricultural workers and higher food prices is plausible, but could be explained with a specific context. The opening also promises that your position will be justified, but a more direct thesis would be more effective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your judgement. Topic sentences such as “The primary drawback” and “Furthermore” help readers follow the argument, while phrases including “As a result” and “To elaborate” signal relationships between ideas. This is a logical and easy-to-follow structure. At times, however, the links feel formulaic, and some sentences contain several consequences in a row without enough separation or explanation. The conclusion also repeats points from the body rather than drawing them together. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its supporting explanation explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “overcrowding,” “traffic congestion,” “housing shortage,” “agricultural land,” and “inflation.” These terms allow you to discuss several distinct effects of migration, and the meaning is generally clear. You also attempt more formal or less common expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural in context, such as “severe ramification,” “built pressure,” and “privilege by facilities.” There are also word-form and collocation problems, including “shortage of labor will take place” and “large amount of forest area.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than choosing a more elaborate phrase when its usage is uncertain. This would make the argument sound more fluent and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses of cause and result: “As a result…” and “which eventually lead to…” This gives you a useful foundation for expressing relationships between ideas. However, some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences less smooth. For example, “which in return cause” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “This shortage will leads” uses an incorrect verb form. Articles and number also need attention in phrases such as “a large amount of forest area,” and the final sentence has an awkward contrast structure with “although … however.” Review agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a complete and consistent grammatical pattern. More accurate control of these structures would improve clarity.

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