Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

People from different countries around the world, rular area people move to the cities area thatswhy the population has been decreaseing in the present seaniros.Therefore ,in my point of view because of the polutiona, huge industry and crouds makes all this happens true and the things effect the human population negatively.

Firstly, the one of the main effect of population groeath is make the place conjusted, development creat the harmfull gas and polution, opportunity of job adn other things in less etc.just like in the capital city of the nepal there are lots of people live for job opportunity,health,education live there so there are lots of polution in the city and that makes people so difficult.As a result a lots of people die wits out any reasona and the over population problem.

Just like this, inother expect of having the over population effect a lot negative by the traffic of the that city. In crouded areas around hundreds of the people die by the reason of poverty and over population.Although, having of huge population also has some positive sides just like developments of the cities and providarion of skilland education opportunityes.

In conclusion, there are so many negative expects of population groeath.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear overall view that rural-to-urban migration is negative, and you mention relevant concerns such as pollution, overcrowding and traffic. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: the reasons are listed rather than explained, and the claim that people die “without any reason” is unclear and unsupported. The brief reference to positive effects—city development and access to jobs, skills and education—is not weighed against your negative position. The Nepal example could help, but it needs specific explanation of how migration has caused the problems you identify. The response is 48 words below the required minimum, which further limits the development of your argument. Extend each main point with a clear explanation and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The sequence from stating your view to discussing overcrowding and traffic is generally understandable, and phrases such as “Firstly,” “As a result” and “In conclusion” signal stages of the response. However, progression within the body paragraphs is weak: several ideas are crowded into long, unclear sentences, and the second paragraph shifts from traffic to poverty and population without showing the relationship. Linking phrases such as “Just like this” are repetitive or imprecise, while references such as “this” do not always make clear which idea they refer to. Organise each paragraph around one reason, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “over population,” “pollution,” “job opportunity” and “development,” so the reader can identify your general concerns. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make the message difficult to follow, including “rular,” “conjusted,” “expect” and “providarion.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “development creat the harmfull gas” and “negative expects of population groeath.” These problems sometimes strain understanding, rather than simply making the writing less polished. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations; for example, use “rural areas,” “overcrowded,” “aspects” and “population growth.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because of” and “Although,” but control of sentence structure is weak and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. The opening sentence has no clear grammatical structure, and “the one of the main effect … is make” shows problems with articles, number and verb form. In “there are lots of people live,” the clause structure is faulty; “people live” needs to be expressed as a relative clause or a separate sentence. Agreement and tense are also inconsistent, as in “population has been decreaseing” and “makes all this happens.” Punctuation and spacing around sentence boundaries need attention. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled subordinate clauses.

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