Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, Rural people are shifting to city, so the population of country is decreasing and this has become an increasingly important issue that affects the people all over the world. In this essay, i will discuss the main points of this issue and give my opinion at the end.

The first main reason of this was rural people have moved to cities and in result the population of the country decreasing which is not good for countries development and growth. This is mainly because of people today are living in a fast changing world where new ideas and technology affects the everday life. Many people in different countries have seen changes because of this in a direct and personal way. As a

result it has had a significant effect on the lives of both young and old people everyday.

The another important reason is that people are less in city so we have less population, in less populated country there are less problem then the more populated country. Instance, many experts and researchers believe that carefull planning and awareness can make a big positive difference. Therefore, it is very important for people, school and government to pay attention on this matter seriously. This will help to create a positive environment for future generations to live and grow in.

In conclusion, this is clearly a very important topic that cannot be ignored in todays world. In summary topic has adavantages and challenges, but with the right attitude and effort can bring more positive results. The cooperation of people and government is the key to succes for bright future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic of rural-to-urban migration and gives a general view that it has both advantages and challenges, but it does not clearly answer whether this is a positive or negative development. The opening promises an opinion “at the end,” yet the conclusion only says it can bring “more positive results” with the right effort, without explaining the position. The body also gives little relevant support: claims about reduced population and “less problem” are unclear, while comments about technology, planning, schools and government are not connected convincingly to the effects of people leaving rural areas. To strengthen the response, state a definite position early and develop two relevant reasons with specific explanations or examples, such as effects on rural services or pressure on city housing and transport.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, ideas are not arranged in a clear line of reasoning, and the paragraphs do not consistently develop the issue. For example, the first body paragraph moves from rural migration to technology and then to effects on young and old people without showing the links. The second begins with “people are less in city,” which conflicts with the topic, and then shifts to planning and awareness. Connect each paragraph to one central reason and explain it step by step. Use linking expressions to show genuine relationships, rather than relying on general transitions such as “Therefore” and “In conclusion.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses enough basic vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “population,” “development and growth,” “planning,” and “future generations.” It also attempts some more formal expressions, such as “significant effect” and “positive environment.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “shifting to city,” “population of the country,” and “pay attention on this matter.” Spelling errors such as “everday,” “carefull,” “adavantages,” and “succes” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of topic vocabulary and check common word partnerships; this will help make the argument clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “This is mainly because…” and “where new ideas and technology…,” alongside simpler statements. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms. Examples include “the population … decreasing,” “technology affects” after the plural subject “ideas and technology,” and “there are less problem.” The sentence beginning “The first main reason of this was…” is also difficult to follow because its structure does not clearly express the intended cause. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including lowercase “i” and the broken line after “As a.” Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then add complex clauses with clear subjects and verbs.

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