Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The population in rural areas are falling in many countries as the majority of the people are transititioning from the countryside to the cities. I believe this is hugely putting a negative impact on the development of the nation.

Moving from the rural parts to the city life can often increase the population load on the cities. This can result in the local areas becoming overly crowded and conjusted. Landlords would take up this opportunity to elevate the rents of housing, as there would be a scarcity for accommodation or living space. Not only would this surge in rent put a huge pressure on smaller families, this would also affect students who work part time to afford a living. They would need to juggle between employment and studies, thus would eventually have to work longer hours to fund their housing expenses.

Furthermore, huge number of people moving to cities would also increase employment competition among the individuals. In other words, it would become even more difficult to find a job due to the increased availability of candidates. Fresh graduates, for instance, currently wait 2 to 6 months for a recruitment offer, but this duration would eventually increase owing to a huge number of potential candidates. This would not only affect the existing population, but also the individuals who are newly moving to the metropolitan areas in hope for a better life.

Hence, an increased number of individuals shifting to the cities can substantially affect the existing residents in multiple ways. It can result in excessive crowding or population in the metropolitan areas, thus leading to a crisis in availability of housing or proper jobs for all the people living in that area.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you consider rural-to-urban migration a negative development, and you support this with relevant concerns about housing costs and job competition. The examples about students balancing work and study and graduates waiting for recruitment offers help make the effects more concrete. However, the response focuses almost entirely on pressures in cities and does not explain what happens to rural communities as their populations decline, which is an important part of the situation in the prompt. Some claims, such as the specific graduate waiting period, would also benefit from explanation or a clearer basis. Develop both the urban and rural consequences, and extend each main point with a more precise example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates the negative effects. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “In other words,” and “Hence” help signal the progression. However, some connections are mechanical, and the conclusion largely repeats the points rather than drawing them together. Within the first body paragraph, the move from rising rents to students’ work pressures is understandable but could be linked more explicitly. The reference to “this duration” in the second paragraph is also slightly unclear. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make links between cause and consequence explicit to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “overly crowded,” “scarcity,” “employment competition,” and “metropolitan areas,” which allows you to discuss the topic clearly. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “substantially affect.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “population load,” “elevate the rents,” and “availability of candidates.” Spelling errors such as “transititioning” and “conjusted” are noticeable, and some ideas rely on repeated terms such as “huge” and “affect.” Choose more natural collocations, check spelling carefully, and vary repeated vocabulary to make your meaning more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional forms such as “Landlords would take up this opportunity” and a longer sentence beginning “Not only would this surge in rent…”. Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “The population in rural areas are falling” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “huge number of people” needs an article or plural form. The “Not only” construction is not balanced clearly with its following clause, and “in hope for a better life” has an inaccurate grammatical pattern. Review agreement, articles, and parallel structures, and proofread longer sentences to ensure that their clauses are complete and correctly connected.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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