Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many parts of the world, people living in rural areas are migrating to cities causing the population of the countryside to decrease. This essay will explain why ubranisation is increasing and argue that it is a positive development.

There are number of reasons why residents of small towns are choosing big cities. The most significant reason is that people living in metropolitan areas have access to diverse opportunities such as working in multi national companies and firms. For exmaple, a fresh software engineering graduate is likely to be employed in google if they regularly participate in hackathons and other social networking event in the city in contrast to rural areas that offers far less of these. As a result, this enables young people to make new connections that will eventually help them in their future.

Moreover, cities have a high impact on the standard of living. On average, the salary of residents of a town is reported to be higher than those living in rural areas. This substantially improves the quality of life with the availabilty of healthcare and higher education. For example, people living in Islamabad can reach a hospital within 10 mins while someone from Saidpur village has to travel for more than two hours. Hence, its because of superior facilties and infrastructure that an increasing number of people are deciding to move out of the rural areas.

In conclusion, urbanisation is becoming increasingly common and In opinion it is because people have access to international opportunites and good living conditions than those in rural areas

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive, and the conclusion repeats this view. You give relevant reasons, especially access to employment and better services, and support them with examples involving a software graduate and healthcare access near Islamabad. This addresses the question and shows some development. However, the discussion focuses mainly on why people move, rather than fully explaining why the resulting decline in rural populations is positive. The claim that town salaries are higher is also broad and would benefit from clearer support. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits of this population shift for both migrants and society, and develop each example more precisely. The position and relevant support are established, but some ideas need fuller explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The ideas progress logically from employment opportunities to living standards, and signposting such as “The most significant reason,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. Examples are placed alongside the points they support. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, with “As a result,” “Hence,” and “This substantially improves” doing much of the connective work. The final sentence also compresses the conclusion and does not clearly restate the reasons. Aim for more varied, precise links between claims and explanations, and ensure references such as “its” clearly identify what they refer to. Overall, the organisation is clear and progression is maintained.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “metropolitan areas,” “diverse opportunities,” “standard of living,” “healthcare,” and “infrastructure.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions are attempted. However, several spelling errors and imprecise or awkward combinations reduce accuracy: “urbanisation,” “multinational,” “availability,” “facilities,” and “opportunities” are misspelled, while “high impact on the standard of living” is not a natural way to express the point. “Social networking event” is also imprecise in this context. Proofread carefully and choose collocations that express your meaning directly. More precise vocabulary for rural services, employment prospects, and migration would add flexibility without relying on broad claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “a graduate is likely to be employed … if they regularly participate” and a contrast with “in contrast to rural areas.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the examples are generally easy to follow. Some grammatical errors remain. For instance, “There are number of reasons” needs an article, and “rural areas that offers” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “Hence, its because” has an unclear grammatical construction, while the conclusion’s “In opinion” is missing a possessive determiner. Work on articles, agreement, and complete, well-formed concluding sentences, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries. Greater accuracy across these patterns would make the argument more controlled.

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