Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In different countries around the globe, country side residents are migrating to urban areas which result in decrease in population of rural areas. This essay agrees that it is a positive development as people could live more comfortably and have acces to more emenities. Whereas, it has some negative results such as loss of population in rural areas.

The rapid increase in urbanization has enabled prople from rural to have a more convinient life .As their access to better education and healthcare. In asian countries like Pakistan and India most of the countryside areas does have have proper education and healthcare facilities which makes life extremely difficult for the locals ,most of the students had to travel for hours to reach their universities and due to unavaliability of proper healthcare services many indivisual also lost their life. Therefore ,urbanization is a pivotal factor in the personal development of indivisual who used to live in countryside areas ,reduced travelling time of the students and given them a chance to be a part of more developing society.

While on the other hand more urbanization would have some negative factors as well. The migration of people to cities would result in under population in rural areas and the cities would be more overcrowded . In countries like Pakistan and India the people of rural areas have agriculture skills and agriculture is a major factor in economy. The migration would result in economic loss.

In conclusion, urbanization is a positive development as it would enhance the living standard of countryside people and give access to educational and healthcare services . But can be dangerous as it would lead to some problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive because it can improve comfort and access to education and healthcare, while acknowledging costs for rural communities. The examples of students travelling long distances and limited healthcare in Pakistan and India make the main benefit relevant. You also identify overcrowding and possible economic losses linked to agriculture. However, these points are not equally developed: the benefits receive explanation, while the negative effects are stated briefly, and the link between migration and economic loss could be explained more precisely. To strengthen the response, develop the consequences for both rural areas and cities with a specific example, and make the conclusion reflect the balance of your argument more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression from improved services to possible overcrowding and agricultural losses is generally easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Therefore” and “In conclusion” help signal the argument, and the contrast between the two sides is clear. However, some connections feel mechanical or awkward: “Whereas” begins a fragment in the introduction, and “While on the other hand” combines two contrasting signals unnecessarily. The final paragraph also introduces a contrast without completing the thought smoothly. Use fewer, more precise transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “urbanization,” “overcrowded,” “agriculture,” and “healthcare services,” which allows you to discuss the issue clearly. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “pivotal factor” and “living standard.” However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “acces,” “emenities,” “convinient,” and “unavaliability,” and some word combinations are unnatural, such as “under population” and “more developing society.” These reduce the precision and polish of the vocabulary. Build accuracy by checking spelling carefully and learning common collocations—for example, “rural depopulation,” “access to amenities,” and “a more developed society”—rather than relying on ambitious phrases that do not fit naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure beginning “As their access to better education and healthcare” and a longer sentence about students travelling to universities. However, several complex attempts are incomplete or difficult to control. “As their access…” is a fragment, while “But can be dangerous” lacks a clear subject and verb structure. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, as in “areas does have have” and “urbanization … reduced travelling time.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops and commas joining long clauses. Practise completing subordinate clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, then divide long sentences into clear, accurate units.

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