Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In several nations around the globe, rural individual are moving to urben side, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

On the one hand the rural areas people are moving to cities side. I believe this is the best step, due to the fact that individuals will be achieve their aims.

For the Counrty this is massive in developing the urben side, for instance goverments have contruct the buildings or aparments for the individuls which play enormous role for the profit it means it will strong the goverments GDP, moreover people will builds new comercial buildings and supermarket it also play key role in city developments.Furthermore individuals would be make their career in life. Furthermore in urban side a huge amount of facilities for people for example, Jobs,oppertunities,educations,health care facility,everything availble in markets.However the people pay taxes for gas, electricity,water which is beneficial for country.

On the other hand the population in the countryside will be decrease

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a positive view, saying that moving to cities helps people achieve their aims, and you give relevant points about employment, education, healthcare and tax revenue. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: the benefits are mostly listed rather than explained or supported with a specific example, and the final sentence about declining rural populations is unfinished. The negative consequences are not discussed, although you could still argue that the overall development is positive by acknowledging them and explaining why the benefits outweigh them. The response contains 150 words, so it is 100 words short of the required 250; the eight words copied from the task prompt are excluded from that count. Develop and support your position across a complete essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: “On the one hand” introduces the main discussion, and “On the other hand” signals a contrasting point. The ideas about jobs, education and healthcare are broadly related to the topic. However, the second side is not developed beyond an unfinished sentence, so the essay has no clear overall progression or conclusion. Several points are crowded into one long paragraph, and repeated “Furthermore” and “for instance” do not always show the relationship between ideas clearly. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons and any counterpoint, and connect each claim to an explanation or example. Complete the final paragraph so the reader can follow your argument from beginning to end.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “facilities,” “health care,” “commercial buildings” and “GDP,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make the writing difficult to read in places: “urben side,” “Counrty,” “oppertunities” and “availble.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “rural areas people” and “city developments.” Choose standard, precise expressions such as “urban areas,” “rural residents” and “urban development,” and check spelling carefully. Avoid relying on broad lists of facilities; naming a specific service or opportunity and explaining its value would allow more precise vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You make some attempts to link clauses, for example with “due to the fact that” and “which,” but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors are frequent. In “individuals will be achieve their aims,” the verb form is incorrect; write “individuals will achieve their aims.” “The population in the countryside will be decrease” also needs a correct passive or active form, such as “will decrease.” There are further problems with articles, plurals and agreement in phrases such as “people will builds” and “a huge amount of facilities.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly where several ideas run together. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add complex clauses while checking verb forms and agreement.

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