Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, individuals living in rural areas around the world are moving to urban areas, resulting in a decline in the rural population. I believe this is a postive development because it creates more opportunities and allow people access better healthcare services.

On the one hand, relocating to urban areas provides people with more opportunities. This is because cities are home to numerous reputable organisation and companies that offer a wide range of jobs. Individuals can seek for employment in different sectors according to their field of study. For instance, a man can apply for a job in a bank, attend an interview and subsequently offered the position. As a result, he can achieve financial stability, meet his needs and wants and provide financial support for his loved ones.

On the other hand, moving to the cities allow individuals access better healthcare services. Urban areas are highly developed with healthcare infrastructures such as well equipped hospitals that have modern medical facilities for detecting illnesses and carrying out examinations. Individuals who have health related issue can seek medical advice from any government or private hospitals. They can consult medical practitioners about their health, get a proper diagnosis and receive better treatment. They will be health educated on how to live a healthy and balanced life. Unlike, villages that lack proper hospitals and inadequate medical facilities which make some individuals depend on unconventional methods of treatment which leads to health complications. For example, an elderly woman who lives in the city can visit a medical centre for routine check-up and receive appropriate medications to aid her recovery. Consequently, her health may improve significantly, enhancing her overall well-being and quality of life.

In conclusion, I believe this a postive development due to the fact that it create more employment opportunities and provides access to a wider range of health care services.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive because it expands employment options and access to healthcare. Both reasons are relevant and supported with examples, such as the job applicant gaining financial stability and the elderly woman receiving medical care. This addresses the task well. To make the argument more fully developed, explain the broader effects of these changes, rather than relying mainly on individual hypothetical cases. For example, you could show how better job access affects families or how migration may improve people’s long-term prospects. The healthcare paragraph is more detailed than the employment paragraph, so developing the latter to a similar depth would make the response more balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression within the healthcare paragraph is especially easy to follow, moving from urban facilities to treatment and then an example. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “For instance,” and “Consequently” help guide the reader. However, the repeated “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” framing can suggest a contrast, although both paragraphs support the same positive view. Some links also feel mechanical, and the sentence beginning “Unlike, villages…” is not smoothly connected to the preceding point. Use more varied transitions and connect comparisons within complete sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “financial stability,” “medical facilities,” “proper diagnosis,” and “overall well-being.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “seek for employment” is not idiomatic, “reputable organisation and companies” has an awkward combination and number mismatch, and “health educated” does not express the intended meaning naturally. There are also spelling errors in “postive,” and some repetition of “individuals” and “healthcare services.” Aim to use familiar collocations accurately and vary repeated terms; careful proofreading would also catch spelling slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including relative clauses (“companies that offer a wide range of jobs”) and conditional phrasing (“who lives in the city can visit…”). Meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. In the introduction, “it creates more opportunities and allow people access” has a subject–verb agreement error and an incomplete pattern; use “allows people to access.” Other examples include “moving to the cities allow” and “it create,” where the verb does not agree with its subject. The sentence “Unlike, villages that lack…” is also an incomplete comparison. Work on agreement, complete sentence structure, and punctuation around introductory linking phrases while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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