Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

As for me people should migrate to the cities but not all individuals because some people have to stay in the countryside because if everyone would leave the countryside so who would promote their traditions, culture and values and some individuals should head towards the cities because they could learn more things which could be beneficial for their people who stayed behind those people can learn new proffessions and than they could go back and make life easier for the citizens whom are left behind let me tell you about my story my father and my grandfather they used to live in the countryside area but my grandfather always wanted his son to be settle in the city so he(my father) could learn new things and than he could make his family's and his people's life easier consequently my father came to the city, he completed his education than he started a business of construction and real estate he built his own company than when he became settled financially he started calling people from his village to hire them and teach them that there is more opportunties than countryside. people came and learned new things now those people are well settled in countryside because they built their own businesses and they became successfull now they are enjoying their lives in there homes so the conclusion is that migrating is always beneficial until and unless there is no opportunities in shifting your home my father did it and now we're enjoying the fruits from his labour.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear, relevant position: migration can be beneficial, but not everyone should leave rural areas. The explanation that people who move can gain skills and later support their communities addresses the question, and your father’s experience provides a specific example of this process. However, the response develops the benefits much more fully than the possible disadvantages or the reason some people should remain to preserve traditions. The opening point about culture is raised but not explained in detail, and the conclusion mainly repeats your view. To strengthen the response, explain both sides more evenly and show more clearly why the benefits outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable progression from your general view to your family example and a concluding statement. However, it is presented as one very long paragraph, so the reader has little visual guidance through the argument. Many ideas are joined in a continuous chain with “and,” “because,” and “than,” making relationships between claims difficult to follow. For example, the shift from your father’s education to his business, then to hiring villagers, would be clearer in separate sentences and paragraphs. Use a structure such as an introduction, a paragraph explaining the benefits with your example, and a conclusion. Clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “traditions,” “culture,” “education,” “construction,” and “real estate.” The account also includes some topic-related expressions, such as “make life easier” and “well settled.” However, several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, particularly repeated references to “people” and “new things.” Some word choices and forms are inaccurate, including “more opportunties than countryside” and “successfull,” which reduce the naturalness of the writing. Aim for more precise expressions such as “employment opportunities” and “acquire new skills,” and check spelling carefully. A wider range of accurate collocations would make the argument more fluent and specific.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express complex relationships using clauses with “because,” “so,” and “when,” and the reader can generally understand the intended meaning. However, many clauses are joined without full stops or other appropriate punctuation, creating run-on sentences; the opening sentence is a particularly clear example. There are also some errors in verb forms and sentence patterns, such as “if everyone would leave” and “he could be settle,” as well as agreement and article problems in phrases such as “the citizens whom are left behind.” These issues make the argument harder to follow, even though its main message remains understandable. Practise separating complete ideas into sentences and checking verb forms, agreement, and articles.

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