Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that in many countries in the world, village people are moving to city areas because of this population of rural people is decreasing. In my opinion, i believe that it is a negative development for both rural area and city area.

There are a number of reasons why I believe it is detrimental for city areas. One possible reason is traffic congestion, which occurs because more and more people is moving from village to city areas. Not only that because of moving accommodation price is rising significantly ,while these are also making living much more harder those are already staying in the cities. Moreover, crime rates are also increasing in cities and police cannot handle it properly and cannot ensure public safety. Public transportations and goods price are increasing dramatically and people are cannot afford foods and transportations. For example, excessive number of population increase the price of all necessities like accommodation, transportations, and healthcare, because of excessive demand and low supply.

Despite this above arguments, it cannot be denied that If the population of village decline it might effect the agriculture sectors and framing sectors not only that government may refuse to develop country sides. Secondly, local business may lose customers, reducing economy activity. When young people leave elderly people may suffer. For example, When young adults leave villages to find jobs in cities, farmers may struggle to find enough workers to cultivate their land. This could reduce agricultural output.

In conclusion, considering all factors above I, believe that this is a negative development because it causes overcrowding in cities and labor shortage in rural areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider rural-to-urban migration negative, and the conclusion restates this view. You address effects on both cities and rural areas, with relevant points such as congestion, rising costs, pressure on public safety, and shortages of farm workers. The example of young adults leaving villages helps illustrate the rural impact. This meets the task well, but development is uneven: the city paragraph lists several consequences without explaining each in depth, while the rural paragraph gives a clearer cause-and-effect example. To strengthen the response further, explain how one or two key effects arise and support them with a specific, credible example rather than adding several broad claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on urban and rural effects, and a conclusion. The overall progression is understandable, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. However, some linking is mechanical or unclear. “Despite this above arguments” does not accurately introduce the rural effects, since these are additional reasons for the same position, and “Not only that because of moving” makes the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. The city paragraph also moves quickly from congestion to housing, crime, transport, and prices. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each consequence explicitly to migration; vary transitions rather than relying on formulaic markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “traffic congestion,” “crime rates,” “public safety,” “agricultural output,” and “labor shortage,” which allows you to discuss both settings. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “detrimental” and “excessive demand.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the meaning less natural: “village people,” “public transportations,” “economy activity,” and “framing sectors” are examples. “Accommodation price” and “goods price” would also be more natural in plural or with a suitable general noun. Build a more reliable range of collocations for migration, employment, and living costs, and check word forms and spelling before using less familiar expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “traffic congestion, which occurs because…” and a conditional example beginning “When young adults leave villages…”. These structures help express causes and consequences. However, errors occur across sentence forms and sometimes make relationships difficult to understand. Examples include “more and more people is moving” (subject–verb agreement), “people are cannot afford” (verb construction), and “it might effect” (verb form). The opening sentence also has an incomplete or faulty causal structure: “because of this population…” Several sentences contain punctuation and capitalisation problems, such as the comma before “while” and inconsistent capital letters after commas. Practise accurate agreement and clause construction, then proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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