Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there is a phenomen around the world of village individuals are changing to live in cities, as a result the numbers of citizens decrease in this places. From my perspective this phenomen is detrimental thing and in this essay i will inform you why.

To begin with, moving from rural places to cities have a harm effect in the productivity of agriculture due to the fact that, as we know villages people are interesting in agriculture works, as a result we will not have enough production not only this but also the cost of eveything that have relation with agriculture side will increase significantly. For instance, the last proportion demonstrates that 60% of agriculture production diminish in this recent years, as a result that leads to inflation and export foods from other countries with a high cost.

More than that, the huge number of rural in cities leads to issues in rent and the pollution since we have a large number of citizens in one place will not give us a balanced life. In addition, in my hometown this phenomen is pretty clear and that what encourage the village people to steal in order to purchase some food and live in streets owing to, the rent in cities is too expensive.

In conclusion, regardless eveything we should have a balanced numbers between rural and cities individuals in order to have a better conditions of living furthermore, to not face obstacles in rent, expensive food and so on.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider rural-to-urban migration detrimental, and the conclusion restates the need for a balance between rural and city populations. You give relevant reasons, including reduced agricultural production, higher food costs, pressure on rent, and pollution. The agriculture point is supported with a statistic, while the hometown example adds a personal perspective. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others: the claim that migration leads people to steal or live on the streets needs a clearer link and more careful support, and the pollution point is mentioned but not developed. Explaining these consequences step by step would make the response more convincing and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally group related points, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “More than that,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, the first body paragraph joins several claims with “as a result” and “not only this but also,” making the reasoning feel crowded. In the second paragraph, “this phenomenon” and “that” do not clearly identify the ideas they refer to. Use clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing, and organise each paragraph around one main reason followed by explanation and evidence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “productivity of agriculture,” “inflation,” “pollution,” and “balanced life,” so the reader can understand the main subject and your position. However, the range and control of word choice are limited, with several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation problems. Phrases such as “village individuals,” “interesting in agriculture works,” and “export foods” are not natural in this context and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Repeated use of “phenomenon” and “as a result” also limits variety. Build a bank of accurate phrases for migration, farming, and urban pressures, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, for example the sentence beginning “Moving from rural places to cities…” and the explanation of rising costs. This shows an effort to connect causes and consequences. However, some sentence structures are faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation recur. For instance, “moving … have a harm effect” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the numbers of citizens decrease in this places” contains an unclear noun phrase and incorrect agreement. Several long sentences are joined with commas, which obscures the relationships between ideas. Practise accurate clause construction and vary sentence length; careful proofreading for agreement and sentence boundaries would improve clarity.

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