Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is an undeniable fact that the trend of moving from rural-areas to cities is getting popular nowadays.Although some might consider it negative,I believe it to be a extremely beneficial not only because it provides better employment opportunities but also because it provides healthcare facilities.This esaay will explore how these factors make this development a positive one.

There are numerous benefits of this development.To commence with,one of the prime advantages of this development is better employment opportunities.People living in villages mostly depend on farming which is seasonal and low-paid,but in cities they can find jobs in factories,offices businesses with higher salaries.For example,a young man from the village near Gujranwala can move to Lahoe and work in textile company and earns three times more money with working hours and other benefits of medical allowance.Thus, this merit can almost single handedly make this development positive,

Furthermore,another major pron that linked with this development is an access to healthcare facilities.In the countryside,there are only basic dispensaries with no specialist doctors,whereas cities have large hospitals with modern equipments and qualified doctors.For instance,for serious treatment like a heart surgery or an emergency operation,rural people have to travel 2-3 hours to Gujranwala or Lahore,which is so risky.But if they live in cities,they can get immediate treatment in 24-hour hospitals with MRI and specialist doctors,so living in cities saves lives and improves health.Hence,this advantage make this development highly positive.

In conclusion, although the decrease in countryside population may lead to some villages becoming empty,I believe that advantages of a better life for individuals and a stronger national economy far outweigh the disadvantages.Therefore, rural-to-urabn migration should be seen as s positive development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive, chiefly because of employment and healthcare. Both reasons are relevant and supported with examples, including the textile job near Lahore and the need to travel for specialist treatment. The conclusion also acknowledges a possible drawback—villages becoming empty—before reaffirming your view. This covers the task well, but the two main arguments are not equally developed: employment is linked to higher pay, while the wider effects on rural communities and the national economy are asserted rather than explained. To strengthen the response, develop those consequences with a specific causal link or example, and address the potential costs of migration more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To commence with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument, and the examples generally appear beside the points they support. However, the linking can feel mechanical, with several sentences beginning with formulaic transitions such as “Thus” and “Hence.” Some connections are also unclear: the employment example’s final detail about working hours and benefits is difficult to follow, and the conclusion introduces a stronger national-economy claim without developing it in the body. Use transitions more selectively and make each paragraph’s supporting details build clearly toward its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “employment opportunities,” “seasonal and low-paid,” “specialist doctors,” and “modern equipment.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and attempts at more specific language make the examples relevant. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or informal, such as “prime advantages,” “another major pron,” and “saves lives” as a broad claim. Spelling errors—including “esaay,” “Lahoe,” and “urabn”—also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully; for example, use “a key advantage,” “another major benefit,” and “access to healthcare” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “Although” and a longer comparison between rural dispensaries and city hospitals. Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “this advantage make” instead of “this advantage makes,” “a heart surgery” instead of “heart surgery,” and “jobs in factories, offices businesses,” where the list structure is incomplete. There are also punctuation and spacing problems, such as missing spaces after full stops and commas, which make the writing less controlled. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and list construction, then proofread sentence boundaries. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve clarity.

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