Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is significant number of people in many countries who are migrating from villages to cities, thereby the population of the rural areas is declining. In my view, mass migration towards urban areas cause detrimental affect to the development of the country.

To begin with, mass migration to big cities caused over popullation; consequently authorities are unable to provide accommodation to the citizens. Along with that, over populus area are vulnerable to health issues for instance, spread of viruses like influenza. In addition to accommodation issue, there will be a shortage of job opportunities for the residents in future. Furthermore, an increase in the number of people in urban areas also results in pollution for instance noise pollution from the cars horns and air pollution due to smoke emitting vehicles. These pollutions are causing deleterious affect on public health.

Additionally, as many people migrate for better jobs oppotunities this increase the competition in the employment sector. Traffic jam is another issue over populous cities are facing right now for instance Dubai,UAE, which have daily traffic jams because of large number of vehicles in the state.

To conclude, this mass migration needs to be stop as it is affecting the demographic paradigm of the countries. Governments ougth to take initiative by granting funds for rulars areas to bulid schools and hospitals for the people. Alnong with that roads should be constructed for the villagers for making mo.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you consider rural-to-urban migration harmful, and you give relevant consequences, including pressure on housing, health risks, pollution, employment competition and traffic. The Dubai example also makes one point more concrete. However, several claims are listed rather than explained—for example, how migration creates a future shortage of jobs or how rural investment would reduce the movement. The conclusion proposes schools, hospitals and roads, but the final sentence is incomplete, so this recommendation is not fully conveyed. The response also falls 14 words short of the required minimum. Develop fewer points with clearer cause-and-effect explanation, and complete the conclusion so all parts of your argument are fully addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument, and the ideas generally remain relevant to the topic. However, the body paragraphs read mainly as lists of consequences, so the progression between points is not always clear. “Additionally” introduces another point, but the relationship between employment competition and the earlier discussion could be developed more explicitly. Some linking is mechanical, and the final sentence ends abruptly at “for making mo,” disrupting the conclusion. Group related effects, explain how each follows from migration, and use clearer references between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “mass migration,” “overpopulation,” “employment sector,” “demographic paradigm” and “deleterious,” showing an effort to use less common language. However, several choices or spellings are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “over populus,” “oppotunities,” “rulars” and “deleterious affect.” Some phrases are also awkward, including “cars horns” and “smoke emitting vehicles,” which reduce precision. The repeated use of “issue” and “pollution” limits variety, while “demographic paradigm” is not a clear fit for the conclusion. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including cause-and-effect clauses with “consequently” and “as.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow. For example, “mass migration … cause” has subject–verb disagreement, while “this increase the competition” needs a correctly formed verb. The opening phrase “There is significant number” is missing an article, and “needs to be stop” has an incorrect passive form. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly in the long sentence beginning “In addition to accommodation issue.” Practise accurate agreement, articles and verb forms, then check each sentence for a complete, clearly punctuated structure.

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